You requisite a crumpet to accompany? 12

Glamour Shots, 1994 – Back story HERE

There’s no reason to post that picture of me as a twelve-year-old Texan prostitute here, I’ve just been listening to a lot of Katy Perry and the ridiculousness of that I felt should match this blog post.

Shit that happened this week:

At After Ellen, I gave a lap dance primer. Seriously. Then I gave suggestions about how to tell your friends they’re being assholes. Not that you’re going to read that one. We both know you’re going straight for the lap dance question.

Then I taught my mom what pwn means and she called me schizophrenic and told me to promote her Etsy site. Which I’m doing AGAIN because I’m a good schizophrenic. She’s a featured Native artist at Etsy this month. Check her out, she’s the one in the teal shirt, and buy a necklace or a woman shaped like a gourd. I have one. Her name is Gourda.

(the cleavage is a bonus)

At SF Weekly, I debunked the myth that online philanthropy is useless, except for the Facebook breast cancer memes. I also found out that Kevin Bacon has a charity called 6 Degrees! So really, everything does lead back to him. Then I wrote about how to get someone to stop blogging about you. Not that you can, really. Evidence: Jami called me a Dick Sharpener last week on her blog and there’s nothing I can do about it, besides propose to her, obvs.

My punny Halloween costume suggestions made it into this Salon article.

I also got the best spam comment here ever. I almost approved it just because it’s that awesome. But then I thought I’d just post it here:

“You requisite a crumpet to accompany? Escort usefulness in Greece. Most desirable girls just here.”


I also fell in love with the moon, wrote about going to AA meetings when I was twelve (to recover from the Glamour Shots probably), and relived a meme from 2009 just so I could tell the internet again that I slept with a girl who wanted to be Harry Potter.

UPDATE: Remember how I was all, I can’t find my amazing theater review of that gay coming-of-age play? I finally found where SF Weekly was hiding it. It’s in the “popular news stories” if you can believe that.

What? There’s MORE?!

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12 thoughts on “You requisite a crumpet to accompany?

  • anna Post author

    Of course I do! She’s almost as well traveled as I am. She lost her hair for a while–that was somewhat terrifying–but I found it eventually.

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  • Theresa

    Thanks a lot Anna for promoting me. I wasn’t calling YOU schizophrenic, just describing the behavior. Afterall, you didn’t make up that word “pwned”, did you?

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  • Janie

    I’m not a “hater”
    I just don’t believe that 12 year old females should be sexualized via “Glamour shots” or other means.

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  • anna Post author

    Sexualized in what sense? That I’m wearing make up? I’m not trying to pick on you or anything. I’m just curious what about this you find objectionable.

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  • Jami

    Personally, I think the sequins are an abomination. If the lezbenizm doesn’t keep you out of the pearly gates, then that jacket will. I bet it weighed like fifteen pounds!

    Like or Dislike: Thumb up 2 Thumb down 0

  • Janie

    12 is too young for the glam look !

    Call me old-fashioned…

    I heart Gourda!
    Did you deliberately include a boob shot in the background
    of Gouda’s pic to possibly distract the viewer from Gourda’s awesomeness?

    Well, it didn’t work.

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