In May of this year, I answered a Redeye advice question from a queer teen about the common refrain, “It gets better,” (coined by Dan Savage and his husband, and is also now an excellent youth support nonprofit). Because the holidays are a struggle for a great many people, and […]

Does it really “get better”? Advice to a queer teenager


  Beethoven lost his hearing suddenly when he was 28, an immeasurable blow for any human, but especially grievous for a composer. His loss was made all the worse by the fact that, before he lost it, Beethoven’s excellent hearing was a source of pride, a “sense which I once […]

There are no limitations: Beethoven, art, and the antidote to ...


 (Ed. Note: In 2011, I wrote this piece for the Bay Citizen, which became the Center for Investigative Reporting, which resulted in the piece vanishing into the ether. So. Now it will live here. Enjoy!) Kiss and Tell In SFMOMA’s public atrium, museum goers stroll idly, teens talk in […]

Making Out at SF MOMA



This is a vignette from my newsletter.   “The problem is we’re both grandiose,” you said. It was dusk. We were circling each other like vultures. I told you I was going away for a while, but that I’d bring you back something really good. “I don’t want that,” you […]

Being with you is like fighting a wave


This is a vignette from my newsletter   I recently cried on a treadmill listening to the Dixie Chicks’ “Goodbye Earl.” I’d never considered the lesbian subtext of that song before — Maryanne and Wanda end up living together on a farm and selling artisanal jam after they kill Wanda’s […]

If I could love you a thousand more years


This is a vignette from my newsletter.   “I want to feel the wild charge of your bare skin against mine,” you said. It was late at night and I had been driving for hours through Maryland Virginia North Carolina. We passed a billboard that said, “It’s not a choice, it’s […]

The wild charge