The internets are all a-twitter about Robert Pattinson’s quote in Details Magazine in reference to his hatred for lady bits. And I quote, “I really hate vaginas. I’m allergic to vagina.” During his photo shoot, R Pattz was forced to be around several scantily-clad women for twelve hours. What a nightmare! I bet it was because none of the vaginas were bedazzled. He later, paradoxically, describes being eaten by an elephant as “the best day of my life.” Full quote:
So this big female started sniffing my foot—big female elephant, that is. She sniffed it so hard it came up off the pavement like her trunk was a vacuum cleaner. Then she took my entire body in her mouth. I was holding on to her head, and as I slowly let go she tightened her grip really carefully until I’m just upside down in her mouth and she’s going through my pockets with her trunk, looking for peppermints. It was the best day of my life.
Some people think Pattinson’s fear of vaginas is a nod to his not-yet-out gayness, since “being allergic” is a common joke amongst queers, and Details has a large gay readership. I’m not sure whether R Pattz’ general air of mopey homelessness appeals to the Gay Men of the World, but I guess if John Mayer can have a racist penis, stranger things have happened.
So, my dear Team Edwardians, please add “hates your vagina” to the list of qualities that make Robert Pattinson worthy of your fandom, devotion and stalking, preferably next to “showers bi-monthly” and “sometimes sparkly.”