When I hug people I make room for the Holy Spirit 5

In addition to pretty much all forms of sex, the gays, and dancing, Christians are now on a mission to ban “frontal hugging.” Don’t worry, you can still kill people though. As long as it’s in the name of the Lord.

This delightful Christian Side-Hug rap comes from the Encounter Generation Conference, an annual Christian youth gathering which hopes to “bring the power, authenticity, and relevance of Jesus Christ to their culture.” Good thing Jesus was really into rough ridin’ or this song would be AWKWARD. Seriously, hugging is wrong but rough riding is fine? Or are they talking about the United States Volunteer Cavalry?

According to Stuff Christians Like (which has a book coming out soon. Are you surprised?) “a ‘full frontal hug,’ [is] one of those sinful abominations where you just wrap your arms around a friend and embrace them.”

THAT is disgusting. God, where did they learn THAT behavior?

Or this?

Does Mary even know that Jesus’ ASS is touching her CROTCH? Didn’t they teach her the appropriate Christian side-death-cradle?

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5 thoughts on “When I hug people I make room for the Holy Spirit

  • Sarah from Chicago

    Can we also ask; cultural appropriation much? I'd almost say it's borderline blackface.

    There is so much wrong with this, I don't know where to start.

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  • Kate HD

    I’m impressed that 1. someone was able to write FOUR WHOLE MINUTES of this unintentional hilarity and 2. no one broke down into paroxysms of uncontrollable screaming laughter, not even the bouncer-looking dudes keepin’ it real in the back.

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  • Krankiboy

    1) What’s with the little snippet “Democratic shift in the Congress” bit?

    2) What’s with the sirens and gunfire? Are these honky gangsters of Christ? It’s shocking that this isn’t comedy.

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