I was watching Season 2 of True Blood recently and was enjoying the ever-shirtless Ryan Kwanten (Jason Stackhouse on the show). He’s become something of a militant Christian this season, attending a bible boot camp against vampires. When he said, “There’s a war going on out there and you’re either on the side of the light or you’re not,” I made the connection that, OH MY GOD HE TOTALLY LOOKS LIKE GEORGE W. BUSH AND I’M HOT FOR HIM, AND THAT IS FUCKED UP IN ALL KINDS OF WAYS I DON’T WANT TO THINK ABOUT. Don’t believe me? Look at this:
Did you hear that? That was the sound of my ovaries collapsing in collective disgust. Of course, Ryan Kwanten is much hotter than Georgie could ever be, but…OH MY GOD I JUST GAVE HIM A NICKNAME. I AM DISGUSTING!
Jason! How can I ever look at your sleepy smile and quaint southern ho-hummery the same way again? What’s that, you say? Focus on this instead? Okay, you win this round, “side of the light,” but I’m watching your Bushisms, BUT OH GOD NOT IN THAT WAY. JESUS. I MEAN, FUDGE.