So, I need to write a bonafide post about this, but for now, here’s an abbreviated story. I’m pretty deaf. It affects me every day, in some ways more profoundly than others. Usually it’s something I can laugh off, as in the case of mishearing song lyrics or when I’m in charge of taking minutes at a meeting and my boss sends me back questions about why I would write down “7 wives?” when we were talking about taxes, but other times my deafness has put me in really uncomfortable situations that are difficult or even downright dangerous. Once I ended up on the back of a strange man’s motorcycle when I was in high school. Another time I “agreed” to let a dude come home with me after we’d made out in a bar for two minutes. You can imagine my surprise when I got out of the cab and saw this random guy trailing me on his scooter, yelling my name. But, more often than not, mishearing friends and lovers and coworkers is just plain embarrassing. Witness a conversation I had recently with a friend who, after several whiskeys and PBRs, put forth the existential and morbid question of whether I wanted to die. To my credit, it was a non-sequitur question. We weren’t talking about death. In fact, I think we were talking about vague life goals and accomplishments of twentysomethings. But the question I heard was, Do you want to date?
After about two solid minutes of me rambling off reasons why I am currently undateable, my baffled friend stepped in and asked what the hell I was talking about.
Oh, do I want to die? Why yes, as a matter of fact. Right now would be fantastic. Thanks.
And on a totally unrelated note, here’s the stuff I’ve been writing lately.
At SF Weekly:
- Facebook Tips to Impress (or Anger) Your Friends
- Put Your Damn Phone Away!
- Online Dating: Should You Worry About Your Privacy?
- Should I Defriend My Ex on Facebook?
- To Tumblr or Not to Tumblr?