Poetry is an under-appreciated art form. But reading and writing poetry, especially love poems, allow us to express our deepest, most mysterious emotions and convey our feelings in creative, impactful ways. This beginner’s guide provides essential steps and tips to help you write a heartfelt love poem.

Step 1: Write From the Heart

Writing a poem from the heart means drawing from your personal experiences and emotions to convey an authentic connection and deep affection for your loved one. Below are some tips, with examples, on how to effectively do this.

Be Genuine and Express Personal Emotions

Your love poem should express what you truly feel for that person. Authenticity is more powerful than any cliché. Don’t just say “I love you”; describe why and how you love them.

For example, in Elizabeth Barrett Browning’s famous love poem, “How Do I Love Thee? Let Me Count The Ways,” she explains the depths of her love:

I love thee to the depth and breadth and height
My soul can reach, when feeling out of sight

Each line presents a different aspect of her love, showing a deep connection and a love that is both vast and personal.

Reflect on your feelings, not just on common love phrases

It’s easy to fall back on common love phrases, such as “love at first sight,” “my heart beats for you,” “you’re my everything,” etc., but we’ve heard them so often that they can be repetitive and lack personal connection. Instead, try to capture the essence of your feelings. Consider the poets who write about the small, often overlooked details.

For example, in Pablo Neruda’s “One Hundred Love Sonnets: XVII”, he talks about his love in an immaterial and intimate way:

I don’t love you as if you were a rose of salt, topaz,
or arrow of carnations that propagate fire:
I love you as one loves certain obscure things,
secretly, between the shadow and the soul.

Neruda ventures past typical declarations of love, describing his emotions through unique objects and unusual themes (darkness, secrecy), which allows readers to see his authentic feelings.

Jot Down Words or Phrases that Come to Mind When You Think of the Person You Love

To create a poem that resonates deeply, list down specific words or phrases that come to mind when thinking about your loved one. These could be about their physical attributes, the way they make you feel, the specific actions they do, or the experiences you’ve shared together.

In Shakespeare’s Sonnet 18, he describes his beloved in comparison to a summer’s day:

Shall I compare thee to a summer's day?
 Thou art more lovely and more temperate:

Shakespeare uses specific imagery to highlight his love’s beauty and temperament. Similarly, you can use this method to brainstorm words and phrases that best capture your specific feelings.

Writing from the heart isn’t about perfect rhymes or complex vocabulary; it’s about portraying an authentic emotional connection. So relax, dig deep into your feelings, and let your heart guide your pen.

Step 2: Choose a Theme

Choosing a theme for your poem helps focus your thoughts and emotions into a definitive course. It’s the approach you decide to take when expressing your love. Love poems can be silly, romantic, passionate, raunchy, sexy, and sometimes they touch on multiple themes. When starting out, it’s often best to stick to one theme. With practice, you can branch out. Here are some detailed explanations of how to choose a theme for your love poem.

Reflect on the purpose of your poem: expressing love, capturing a moment, describing a specific feeling

Your poem could have different purposes. For instance, you may want to pen an affirmation of your love, chronicle a particularly touching moment, or describe an intense emotion.

When expressing love, consider the timeless poem “She Walks in Beauty” by Lord Byron. Here, Byron admires the beauty – both physical and moral – of an unnamed woman:

She walks in beauty, like the night
    Of cloudless climes and starry skies;
And all that’s best of dark and bright
    Meet in her aspect and her eyes...

He has chosen to express his love by focusing on her beauty through vivid comparisons.

When a poem captures a moment, think of Robert Herrick’s “To The Virgins, to Make Much of Time”:

Gather ye rosebuds while ye may,
   Old Time is still a-flying:
And this same flower that smiles to-day
   To-morrow will be dying.

While this is technically a “why you should have sex with me” poem, it works for love, too, as Herrick captures a moment in time, reminding everyone to cherish what they have while they have it.

When describing a specific feeling, you can draw inspiration from E.E. Cummings, who explores the feeling of wholeness in his love poem “i carry your heart with me(i carry it in”.

i carry your heart with me(i carry it in
my heart)i am never without it(anywhere
i go you go,my dear;and whatever is done
by only me is your doing,my darling)

In the poem, Cummings beautifully communicates the completeness felt when in love, showing that love is not just an emotion but an integral part of oneself.

Consider Using This Theme to Guide Your Poem’s Structure and Content

Your chosen theme should help dictate the structure and content of your poem.

For example, if you’re expressing admiration, like Lord Byron, you may choose to use a consistent pattern of rhyming couplets. If you’re capturing a fleeting moment like Robert Herrick, a short, sweet, carpe diem-inspired verse may suffice. If you’re exploring an in-depth feeling like E.E. Cummings, you may opt for a less rigid, more open structure that allows for deeper introspection.

Use your theme as a guide to create a structure that complements and enhances your love poem. In every case, the theme can lead to more focused, direct, and powerful expressions of love. Your chosen theme is the glue that binds every piece of your poem together, creating coherence and resonance.

Step 3: Create a Structure

The structure of your poem plays a crucial role in the way your message is received and understood. Here’s how to build a structure for your love poem.

Choose a Poem Format: Sonnet, Haiku, Free Verse, etc.

There are many formats to choose from when writing a love poem. The easiest one is free verse, which doesn’t rhyme, and can be any length you want. As a beginner, you’ll probably want to avoid the more traditional forms (sonnets, villanelles, etc.) but if you want to give it a go, then don’t let a little iambic pentameter stop you! Haikus are a nice and short form and can pack a real punch, but still require some planning, since you only have 17 syllables to work with.

Modern poets have been bending and blending traditional formats to create resonating love poems. Poet Terrance Hayes, for instance, invented a new type of sonnet, which he named the “golden shovel” after Gwendolyn Brooks’s poem, “We Real Cool.” In the format, poets take a line from another poem and use each word in the line as the end word in their own poem. Here’s an example from his poem, “The Golden Shovel”:

I. 1981
When I am so small Da’s sock covers my arm, we
cruise at twilight until we find the place the real
men lean, bloodshot and translucent with cool.
His smile is a gold-plated incantation as we
drift by women on bar stools, with nothing left
in them but approachlessness. This is a school
I do not know yet. But the cue sticks mean we
are rubbed by light, smooth as wood, the lurk
of smoke thinned to song. We won’t be out late.
Standing in the middle of the street last night we
watched the moonlit lawns and a neighbor strike
his son in the face. A shadow knocked straight
Da promised to leave me everything: the shovel we
used to bury the dog, the words he loved to sing
his rusted pistol, his squeaky Bible, his sin.

Choosing a specific poem format can guide your writing process and potentially enhance your poem’s emotional impact.

Determine Your Poem’s Length

A poem’s length doesn’t determine its merit or emotional impact. Short or long, the importance is conveying your feelings effectively. In Nayyirah Waheed’s minimalist style, she can create powerful imagery in just a few lines, like in her poem “salt.”:

you
  not
     wanting
              me
was
   the
     beginning
                 of me
wanting
         myself.
thank you

On the other hand, long poems can provide room for broader narratives and detailed exploration.

Decide on the Rhyme Scheme (if any)

Traditional forms often have strict rhyme schemes; however, modern poetry embraces the freedom to rhyme or not. Poet laureate Amanda Gorman’s “The Hill We Climb,” (a love poem to America) delivered at the 2021 Presidential Inauguration, showcases a mixed rhyme scheme:

...We will not march back to what was,
but move to what shall be,
A country that is bruised, but whole,
benevolent, but bold,
fierce and free.
We will not be turned around...

Creating a structure that suits your message and style allows your poem to flow naturally and increases its potential of touching the reader’s heart.

Step 4: Use Figurative Language

Figurative language uses figures of speech to convey meanings different from their literal interpretation. It helps create an emotional connection, evokes vivid imagery and adds a layer of complexity to the poem. Let’s expand on this.

Employ Metaphors and Similes to Create Vivid Imagery

A simile uses “like” or “as” to make a comparison, while a metaphor makes a direct comparison. Both can greatly enhance your poem by painting vivid pictures in the reader’s mind and illuminating your experiences in unique ways.

Consider Ocean Vuong’s “On Earth We’re Briefly Gorgeous,” where he uses a beautiful metaphor to illustrate a sense of longing:

...I am writing because they told me to never start a sentence with because. But I wasn't trying to make a sentence—I was trying to break free...

Vuong directly replaces the concept of a sentence with his desire to be free, pointing to a deeper level of emotional yearning.

Similarly, in “Where You Are Planted,” Sarah Kay uses simile to express her love:

Like how a tree
is not just a tree
it is also the shade it casts,

Kay shows how love is not singular or static, with a tree’s existence extending beyond itself, just like her love for the person goes beyond just being ‘in love.’

Use Symbolism and Personification to Convey Emotions

Symbols can express complex ideas without needing explicit explanation. And personification (attributing human characteristics to inanimate objects or abstract concepts) can add depth and originality to your expressions.

Rupi Kaur uses both in her poem “Milk and Honey”:

you were so afraid
of my voice i decided to be
afraid of it too

In Kaur’s work, voice symbolizes her identity, strength, and femininity. Her and her lover’s fear of it represents their struggle with her power and individuality.

Whether you use metaphors, similes, symbolism or personification, the key lies in using these tools to paint a vivid imagery and convey your emotions effectively in novel ways.

Step 5: Be Specific

Being specific in your poem can intensify feelings, create personal connections, and add a layer of authenticity. Let’s explore this in detail.

Write About Specific Moments, Experiences, or Attributes of Your Loved One

Including details about unique moments and attributes makes the poem more personal and lets the reader see your love as you do.

Consider Langston Hughes’s poem, “Madam and the Rent Man”:

The rent man knocked.
He said, Howdy—do?
I said, What
Can I do for you?
He said, You know
Your rent is due....

Hughes gives life to an everyday encounter, making it compelling and memorable. Similarly, when writing a love poem, describing the way your loved one laughs or how their eyes light up in the morning sun can create strong mental images for your readers.

Show Your Feelings, Rather Than Just Telling Them

The phrase “show, don’t tell” is a golden rule in writing. It’s more engaging to show your feelings through actions, thoughts or dialogue than simply to state them.

The poem “Gate A-4” by Naomi Shihab Nye is an excellent example of showing emotions:

Wandering around the Albuquerque Airport Terminal... 
...
She had heard airplane so many times.
She didn’t know what was propelling her forward, I touched her arm,
...
This
is
the 
world
I want to live in. The shared world.

Nye does not explicitly say she felt a connection with the old woman, but through her actions and words, readers can feel the deep human bond that emerged in that setting.

Using specific details and showing—rather than telling—emotion can add depth to your love poem, making it a more immersive and emotionally resonant read for your audience.

Step 6: Edit and Revise

Editing and revising is a critical part of the writing process. This step allows you to refine your language, fix any errors, and ensure your poem resonates with your intended message and emotion.

Review Your Poem for Grammar, Punctuation, and Spelling Errors

While creative writing does allow some leeway with grammar and punctuation for stylistic purposes, it’s crucial to make sure the text is clear and understandable. e.e. cummings, for example, famously used nontraditional punctuation and grammar in his poetry. However, it was always done with intent, for a clear, emotional impact:

i carry your heart with me(i carry it in
my heart)i am never without it(anywhere
i go you go,my dear;and whatever is done
by only me is your doing,my darling)

Here, cummings’ unusual punctuation and grammar create an intimate, conversational tone and pace, letting the reader feel the poem’s immediacy—a stuttering, graceless, language-breaking kind of feeling, a love that trips over the tongue.

Make Sure Your Poem Flows Seamlessly and Effectively Communicates Your Emotions

Reading your work aloud can help identify areas that may not flow smoothly. Check that nothing hinders the transition from one line, idea, or stanza to the next.

Consider “What You Missed That Day You Were Absent from Fourth Grade” by Brad Aaron Modlin. The poem captivates the reader with its smooth flow and vivid imagery:

Mrs. Nelson explained how to stand still and listen
to the wind, how to find meaning in pumping gas,
...
how peeling potatoes can be a form of prayer.

Each of Modlin’s lines run seamlessly into the next, creating vivacious and diverse imagery that encapsulates experiences of ordinary life.

Edit and Revise Your Poem to Find the Perfect Balance

Striking a harmonious balance among expressing emotions, using imagery, and maintaining the desired tone is often achieved through revising.

Nikki Giovanni’s poem “Love Is” showcases a balanced approach:

Some people forget that love is
tucking you in and kissing you
"Good night"
no matter how young or old you are

Giovanni combines the simplicity of her language with powerful emotional expression and evocative imagery. The tone is maintained throughout, making the poem coherent and resonant.

Vigorous editing and revising can turn a good poem into an amazing one. Don’t be afraid to trim unnecessary words or add more detail to create a piece that fully represents your feelings and experiences.

Now you’re ready to write a heartfelt love poem! Use this guide to craft a poem that will capture your feelings and resonate with the person you love. And remember, writing is a skill that takes practice, patience, and a willingness to fail. No one writes a masterpiece without a lot of shitty first drafts (as Anne Lamott put it). Give yourself the grace to mess up and be imperfect. Especially with love poems, (to break my own rule and use a cliche) it truly is the thought that counts most of all.