You found my blog by

searching “haiku for drunk sluts” –

Christ, that delights me.

____________

Dear anonymous Googler,

Please reveal yourself! And marry me.

Love,

Anna

Other shit that happened this week:

Over at SF Weekly, I wrote about when to stop texting and use your phone as a phone. For instance:

Call: When a question can only be answered sufficiently in paragraph form: “What’s the current state of the economy?” and “How do you really feel about Johnny Depp?”

Text: When a question can be answered in one or two words: “Wanna shoot up later?”

At MoJo, I wrote a companion blog post about the depressing state of the foster care system for gay kids. MoJo also has awesome new author bios and feeds, which say “Get my RSS” which I obviously always misread as “Get my ASS.”  So, what I’m saying is, you can get my ASS here, if you so desire.

I’m STILL fucking inspiring people to write haiku, please. And thank you. Y’all inspire me.

I also discovered that I pretty much only remember what I’ve done in any given week because of Facebook updates. BUT this also led to getting the best compliment in the history of EVER:  “You’re an unhinged saucy beauty of fucking bring it!” Amazing, yeah? I want to tattoo it upside down on my lower abdomen so that I can marvel at it each time I drop trou.

Yes. Okay. I can’t believe it’s still fucking Tuesday and I’m already swearing this much.

Who are you kidding?

• I’m fucking inspiring, please
• “Fucking great“
• “Fuck it“
• What The Fuck, Mr. Smither of Sexery?!