My pal Caitlin Myer was in New Orleans recently and she brought me back an Onion-style newspaper called No Levees that parodied my Alternet article on the 10 Kinkiest Cities in the US. Amazeballs. You should read the whole thing because it’s hilarious, but here’s an excerpt:

New Orleans Mayor Mitch Landrieu said the city’s second-place ranking in the “all-important” category was “unacceptable.” Critics say his inability to “sleep around on the job” has apparently hindered the city’s image…..

 “The NOPD will be equipped with soft, furry yellow handcuffs!” he said to the screaming throng.

“All police flashlights will be replaced with FleshLights,” he announced. “And anyone who is arrested will be spanked in public with a flat leather paddle whip.”

In order to avoid civil rights violations, Leadbottom said people who are arrested will first be read their Miranda rights, and then immediately be given the city’s new safety word: Tchoupitoulas. Both Miranda rights and safe words are new practices for New Orleans police.

Ignoring the fact that I didn’t rank the cities, this still makes me insanely happy.

In other news, I can’t stop laughing at this advertisement.

And and!! Crash Pad Series invited me to attend one of their queer, feminist porn shoots next weekend. So, if there’s anything you’re dying to know, now is the time to ask!