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New Year’s Resolutions


Since Ellie says watching all of Colin Firth’s movies does not count as a New Year’s resolution, I suppose I’ll have to think of something else to aspire to.

Other ideas include:

BEDDING Colin Firth

Perfecting my British accent, which Ellie describes as “not that bad” and winces

Renaming the Grafenberg spot, then claiming I invented it in order to get credit for the happenstance of anatomy. Suggestions for the new name are: Chuck Bass, This is Spinal Tap, and Dawson’s Creek.

Get a new sex column to replace the large, empty hole in my uterus since I stopped Can’t Bi Me Love

Join Drool, the oldest Colin Firth fan community on the web (you can’t make this shit up, people)

Get 1,000 Twitter followers – only 361 to go! Assuming I can hold on to the loyal following of a Volvo dealership and about 400 porn sites.

Learn to cook something interesting using bean sprouts. Sometimes I have urges to buy them at the store. One time, I actually did buy some and kept them in my fridge until they looked like sad emoticons and I had to throw them out. |:(

Buy a pleather jacket

Learn to smolder

What’s your best New Year’s resolution?

This Post Has 5 Comments

  1. Lauren

    to be able to write as well as anna pulley, that's what.
    sad emoticons! i love it!

  2. pulley-whipped

    you're leagues ahead of me, lauren. remember, i didn't even know how to pronounce proust.

  3. Theresa

    No clue who Colin Firth is, but he does NOTHING for me. Don't you loathe the British for what they've done????

  4. Theresa

    Bean sprouts are so easy to toss into any stir fry. Pick a few tasty vegies and quick fry in a little oil. Serve with a little sauce (bought from the Chinese market) and cooked rice. There you go – one resolution knocked out of the way.

  5. pulley-whipped

    i don't blame colin firth for the genocide of native americans, if that's what you're implying.

    come on, you love white guys!

    and thanks for the bean sprout tip.

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