How is it that AC Slater, aka Mario Lopez, the host of Pet Star on Animal Planet, soap actor on the Bold and the Beautiful, and made-for-tv-movie star on Husband for Hire was selected as People’s Hottest Bachelor?

Sure, he has abs. But he’s also played a space captain that informed guests of the adventure-to-come while they waited in line for Space Mountain at Disneyland. Is this really what we want to tell our children in future years? “Well, Timmy. It was a rough year for male celebrities. Heath Ledger was out of the ringer and calf implants made it virtually impossible to differentiate hotness. Plus, have you seen Zack Morris from that era? Eesh.”

Then, as if that weren’t bad enough, Showgirls and Saved by the Bell alum Elizabeth Berkley has signed on to a multi-episode arc on The L Word next season, according to Entertainment Weekly. After Cybil Shepard, I really didn’t think the L Word could go any further downhill. Way to prove me wrong, ladies. Way to prove me wrong.

Also, has anyone else seen her pretty creepy website that purportedly helps build girls’ self-esteem?

I’m going to hole myself away for a while, at least until Dustin Diamond’s homemade porn becomes a Lifetime miniseries, which honestly can’t be too far off.