Haiku for Adulthood: Lit Crawl Muni Battle (Video)


These are some of the haiku I read at the Lit Crawl Muni Haiku Battle, which was super fun, even though (spoiler) I lost! You can read about it at Muni Diaries or watch a video recap below. Some of these won’t make much sense if you don’t live in San Francisco or ride public transit, but most of them will!


My policy hasn’t


changed. You could always


enter through my “back door.”



Rush hour is like


kinky sex — nobody gets


off without a fight.



On the N, my seat


was stolen by an Asian


lady’s live chicken.



I took a deep breath


on the 38 Geary


at night — lesson learned.



Packed with tourists, Full 


House sing-alongs, pigeon jokes.


What the F, Train.



To our right, you’ll


notice human excrement.


That concludes our tour.



A two-hour ride


and I’m still not there — Mission bus


or one-night stand?



Kind sir, there’s a


difference between friendliness


and frotter-nizing.



Girl on phone baptizes


me with spit — if you see


something, spray something.



If you like your work


commute to be full of


surprises, urine luck.



Dear ladies: Gripping


the bus pole that hard doesn’t


get you any tips.



Remembering exact


change is a chore. Clipper?


I barely know her!

PS: I’ve always wanted my face to be next to a definition of a paraphilia.

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