“Give the gift that Santa can’t give, a pap smear.” Fuck, I already mailed my Santa letter! I hope he’ll at least send the condoms that look like candy canes. Those should really be sold year round.

There’s a Jewish one too. “Give the gift that will light up her menorah.” Why do these ads sound so sexual? Like this woman, who is frankly a little too excited about her boyfriend’s prostate exam.