Our senses – sight, smell, hearing, touch, and taste – are how we take in the world and gain new knowledge, particularly in the realm of pleasure. Engaging the senses regularly, especially with a romantic partner, can help strengthen your bond, explore new kinds of intimacy, and tap into parts of yourselves that are often overlooked.

We often think of sensuality as applying exclusively to sex – and, real talk, I’d be hard pressed to find an activity that more perfectly lets you engage in all of the senses at once – but it’s also so much more than that.

Below are 15+ date ideas and activities that use all of your senses. Some are likely outside of your comfort zone, but I encourage you to approach them with an open mind.

Why?

Because new experiences are scientifically shown to increase happiness and positive feelings. They also bond you more deeply to your partner(s). And because humans crave variety and novelty, trying new things may have the unintended effect of leading to increased desire and attraction.

Sight

Amateur photo shoot

You don’t need to be a professional photographer to take cute photos of you and your partner. All you need is a cell phone with a timer, a tripod or something to prop the phone against, and a sense of humor – because lots of the photos won’t turn out the way you expect! This is fine. Just delete them and try again. (Or keep them for when you need a laugh.)

A photo shoot is a creative and free way to spend some time together, viewing each other with fresh eyes.

Locales: If the weather’s nasty or you just don’t feel like leaving the house, use your couch, kitchen, bedroom (or any room that’s clean). Otherwise, try a pretty government building or courthouse, an open field or park, a rose garden, or places that are significant to you. The place you had your first date? Your favorite cocktail bar?

How to pose: This post has some couples poses to try and accompanying photos. Shoott has some good ideas, too. Others include running toward the camera, a twirl or dance pose, and using props (a large hat, umbrella, a family pet, etc!).

Vibe: Be silly, be sexy, be sincere – the mood is up to you. For a challenge, try all of them at once.

Perks: Creative, free, and you get keepsake mementos you can either print out and display, or simply revisit on your phone when the mood strikes.

Draw or painting class

As someone with zero artistic talent, I didn’t think I’d like dates involving drawing or painting, and yet, both times I’ve tried, these dates allowed me to tap into a more playful side of myself. Plus the results were hilarious. Witness this spectacle from an erotic drawing class.

Perks: Many classes let you drink while you draw or paint. There are also plenty of virtual events, though in some cases, you’ll still have to pick up supplies. Do a google search and see what’s available or piques your interest. And as a bonus, you get built-in souvenirs, even if you only plan on using your laughable field of flowers painting as target practice.

Rediscover your hood

Practice exploring the locale that’s most “familiar” to you – your neighborhood – by taking a walk through it and finding things you’ve never seen or noticed before. Walk slowly and really try to see the familiar with new eyes. Become a tourist of your own environs. Take turns down streets you’ve never bothered to. Get lost. My partner and I did this recently and discovered a little park that happened to be an amazing place to see the sunset. We never would’ve known it was there had we not randomly turned the corner.

You can do this with another part of town you visit frequently, perhaps the area where you work, or you could pick a place that you’ve never been to and learn about it together with your partner.

Perks: Exercise, free, novel

Eye gazing activity

This one’s not a full-on date, but an activity you can do when you’re short on time, or as one part of a longer date.

Many studies have shown that eye-gazing – that’s staring into someone’s eyes – increases intimacy, connection, trust, love, and even makes the person you’re gazing at more attractive. It’s a tantric practice that’s been utilized for thousands of years and requires zero special skills or tools, aside from a timer. And your eyes, obvs.

How to do it

1. Face your partner in a seated position. Feel free to hold hands or touch while you do this.
2. Set a timer for your desired amount of time. Try 2 to 4 minutes. (Some do it for 10 to 20 minutes, but you’ll probably want to work up to that.) If you’re not used to prolonged eye contact, it might make you a little uncomfortable. That’s okay!
3. Look into your partner’s eyes. Smiling or laughter might occur (or even crying!). All are perfectly acceptable responses, just keep looking. (And don’t forget to blink.)
4. When the timer goes off, you can look away. Talk about how the experience was for you.

Perks: Fast, free, builds intimacy, connection, and attraction

Hearing

Attend a concert by someone you’ve never heard of

Or a genre you don’t tend to listen to. Pirate metal, anyone? You can also do the at-home version by finding a concert on YouTube and listening that way. But the point is to keep an open mind and ear, discover something new, and to try to find appreciation for music that’s outside of your usual wheelhouse.

If you’re really brave (or masochistic) you can try an experiment recommended by Mike Sowden and do this with music you hate.

…you’ll probably get something from the experience other than “ugh” – and in future, you’ll won’t be so quick to completely write anything off in life, like places, or people, or political ideas – or other music that immediately seems to rub you up the wrong way. 

Afterward, talk about what the experience was like. Did you hate it? Learn something? Admire the thousands and thousands of hours of work that went into producing a four-minute song?

Perks: Get out of your comfort zone, can be free or budget, support new artists/musicians

Play DJ

Pick 5 songs that are meaningful to you in some way. Have your partner do the same. Then listen to them one by one, and after, talk about why the songs were meaningful. Does it remind you of a time in your life? A person? How does it make you feel now?

If you have a song of your own, play that for each other, too.

Perks: Intimate, nostalgic, get to know your partner better

Sound bathing

It sounds witchy and woo – the singing bowls don’t help this stereotype – but sound bathing, at its core, is just immersing yourself in sound.

Why would you do that?

Several studies have shown that sound bathing can reduce stress and anxiety, increase feelings of positivity, and decrease depression and pain.

You’ve likely done a version of sound bathing before and didn’t even realize it. When you pop in your ear buds on a long train ride and tune out the world, for instance. Or if you’ve listened to music before bed or while working out.

How do you do it? You can search online for sound bath events, if group meditation is your thing, or you can also play do it at home with a video or a recording. Here’s one from Sara Auster.

And here’s another one:

Perks: Relaxing, cheap/free, short duration

Scent

Visit a perfumery or take a perfume class

Scent is our most under-utilized sense, which is all the more reason to get your nose in the … knows. If your city or town is home to a perfumery, go take a tour, learn about the complex histories of perfumes, and even try your hand at making your own. (I happen to be lucky to live nearish the Aftel Archive of Curious Scents. If you’re in the Bay Area, give it a whirl!)

If there are no perfumeries near you, there are still plenty of ways to nose-dive in. One is to take a perfume class. Many offerings exist online now. Check out Udemy and Coursetakers for a few options. And then there’s the (incredibly named) Institute of Art and Olfaction, which offers classes on perfumes 101, scent culture, and even animal musk!

(Fun fact: The civet’s digestive glands are what make Balinese coffee the most sought-after in the world, even though it’s poo coffee.)

Other options include: Taking an essential oils class. (Bonus points if the oils result in a nice couple’s massage.) For a free option, hit up a perfume store or department store and sample the scents.

Perks: Unique, nice-smelling keepsakes, learn something new

Take a scent walk

If perfume is too much for you, consider going on a scent walk instead.

Optimal locales include: farmers markets, public gardens (rose gardens in particular), or places in nature that have lots of plants or trees around.

For Bay Areans: Oakland’s Lake Merritt has a sensory garden that’s hidden away from the main path and is excellent for smelling rosemary and lavender bushes, citrus trees, and other plants that smell surprisingly good. Breathe in all that delicious air.

Fun fact: You’ve likely seen a yellow-looking weed that’s prolific in open fields, on road sides, and in gardens. It’s called pineappleweed because it smells exactly like pineapple. Impress your date by pinching the oils from its yellow head and holding it up to their nose. They’ll be thoroughly pleased by your botanical skillz.

Perks: Free/cheap, exercise, gardens are pretty

Scent/Taste

Just Desserts

What we think of as “taste” is actually mostly smell. Put this to the test with a decadent experiment. Make or choose 3 to 5 sweets or desserts that your partner will (reasonably) like. Then blindfold them, have them hold their nose, and feed them a bite. As they savor the treat, have them try to guess what flavors they entail and make observations about how they taste. Then have them unplug their nose and see how the experience and tastes change.

If you’re reading this and thinking eff that, I just want the cheesecake, then simply enjoy the desserts without the use of your eyes. This will help you savor the scents, tastes, and textures of the food. Plus, a little sensory deprivation (in this case, sight) heightens your other senses and can make the experience more intense. This is part of the reason we tend to close our eyes during sexual activities. It allows you to feel more.

Perks: Dessert! Intimate, indulgent

Attend a tasting or DIY

One of the more accessible options, tastings are prevalent, delicious, and some even offer them virtually. Pick your poison, whether it’s beer, wine, whiskey, tea, sake, coffee, mead, chocolate, or cheese, then do an online search for tastings in your area.

Or, to make it a homegrown date – create your own tasting and do it at home. That way, when you’ve sampled 6 tequilas, you don’t have to drive home. This is a great group date option – not to mention cheaper. First pick a theme, then ask each friend or couple to bring 1 or 2 options to try, and take turns sampling and enjoying them. You can even get fancy and have a rating system, tie the themes to cultural events (beer or whiskey for St. Patrick’s Day, champagne for an Oscars party, etc.) or have your friends invent origin stories for the drinks/foods they brought. The most convincing story wins … more wine?

Perks: Group date option, readily available, do you really need more reasons to drink beer?

Cooking/Eating

Other options for food-based dates involve:

• Taking a cooking class together – in person or online
• Going to a new restaurant each week for a month. You can pick a theme or just go wild.
• Learn to make a new dish together (bonus if it’s meaningful to you in some way. Your grandpa’s pierogi recipe, your mom’s mac n’ cheese, etc.)
• Invent a new recipe using only the things you already have in your fridge/pantry. Give it a name and an origin story. If it’s disgusting, then you at least get a story out of it, if not leftovers.

Perks: Learn something new, create meaningful connections, free/cheap

Touch

There are so many great dates involving touch that it’s hard to choose.

Dance classes

Classes such as swing, bachata, tango, ballroom, line dancing, or hip-hop are prevalent, inexpensive, and can even be done virtually if you’d rather K-Pop in your living room. (We did this for Valentine’s Day and it turns out we’re terrible K-Pop dancers, but it was still super fun.)

Perks: Dancing is a great way to learn how to move with your partner’s body, master (or improve upon) a sexy skill, and impress your friends at the next wedding.

AcroYoga or Goat Yoga

Why should kids be the only ones to experience the thrill of superman flying? With AcroYoga, a kind of partner exercise that combines yoga and acrobatics, you learn all about balance, strength, trust, and to tap into a more playful side. While there are definitely online classes, because of the risk for injury, especially as a beginner, I’d recommend finding an in-person class to start out.

Goat yoga – literally yoga with goats – is only available in select cities, but it’s cute and ridiculous in the best way. If you’d rather not downward dog with a goat on your back, then visit a petting zoo or animal shelter to cuddle with some cute creatures instead.

Perks: Exercise, cuteness factor, and petting an animal has been known to reduce stress and increase oxytocin, a hormones that facilitates happiness and bonding.

Spa Day or DIY

If you can afford it, book a couple’s massage or find a hot spring or hot tub and soak in some warm, soothing waters.

If you’d rather DIY it, then take a massage class or teach yourself with some online tutorials and trade off with your partner. There are so many options online for learning these skills. A few include:

Here’s another option:

And one for couples:

Perks: Massage! Self-care, intimate, DIY potential

The 3-minute touch game

An ex introduced me to this game pioneered by Sexological Bodyworker Betty Martin, and while the point is not supposed to be sexual, if you do this with a partner, it’s kind of hard to avoid it! Because it’s sexy.

Here’s a video explaining the concept and with examples.

The basic gist is this: You touch your partner how they want to be touched for 3 minutes (neck rub, light stroking, cuddling, spooning, etc.), then you let them touch you for 3 minutes how THEY want to touch you (meaning what THEY want to experience by touching you, with your consent, of course).

Then you switch.

The touch is supposed to be non-genital and non-sexual, but again, if you’re doing it with a person you trust and are sleeping with, it’s pretty easy for this to segue into sexy times. But it doesn’t have to. Along the way, you can make requests. More or less pressure, move your thumb lower, that tickles, etc.

It’s a really great exercise to think about touch as a means of pleasure and not merely penetration/orgasm.

Perks: Fast, free, sexy