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Phantom Boob-Honking

G-chat of the week

Jami: how’s the new job thing?

me:  eh fine
it doesn’t really pay..anything
but it’s a good org
i get to write about boobs still 🙂

Jami:  if you get to write about boobs, then you shouldn’t be expecting monetary gain… writing about boobs is enough.
well, it should be. what kind of lesbian are you anyway?? lol

me:  ha, if i got paid in boobs, i’d be happy
but i think they call that sexual harassment

Jami:  only if you touch
that’s what my lawyer said
you can do phantom boob-honking ALL DAY
or… maybe that’s just in the south.

me:  ha
i’m gonna try that
on my cube mate and see how that goes over

Jami:  if you need me to, i can make you a little video tutorial.
i’ll just do the honking on myself for ease of production.
actors are expensive.

me:  please do!

me:  i just tweeted part of this

Jami:  “that’s what she said”

This Post Has 8 Comments

  1. Jami

    HONK!

  2. Mac

    It’s going to take more than phantom boob-honking to offend my sensibilities. Still, I have doubts that that’s NOT legally actionable sexual harassment. I think we should get fact-check involved.

  3. anna

    Agreed. Fact-checkers?

  4. Jami

    “Fact-checkers” is writer’s slang for “crotch grabbers”, right?

    “Just checking the facts here, kids… Yep, just as I thought. Way to go, Fabio! Mmhmm… Oh, Gerald. I guess you just have to come to terms with the fact that your peeny is teeny.”

    Sending over my resume now.

  5. Titania

    Fact check here! And it looks like Mac and Anna are right (sorry Jami). According to the free legal dictionary, sexual harassment equals “Unwelcome sexual advances, requests for sexual favors, and other verbal or physical conduct of a sexual nature that tends to create a hostile or offensive work environment.”
    Yep, phantom boob-honking definitely crosses “verbal or physical conduct (notice it doesn’t explicitly say touching another person) of a sexual nature.”

  6. anna

    Oh well, we still have Phallus Fridays to look forward to. Just kidding! Don’t fire me..

  7. Jami

    I don’t know where you got this cockamamie information from… Likely Wikipedia. Pffft.

    At my office, you can do all the phantom boob grabbing and cock-fact-checking you please… Of course, I work alone… From my house…

    So maybe I’m just admitting to lots of self-lovin’ on the clock. BE JEALOUS.

  8. john

    to a lot of people harass is two words. what?

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