As we stand (or, more likely, sit slouched in bed wearing the same joggers we’ve had on for several days) on the cusp of a new year, it brings about a mix of emotions—excitement, anxiety, hopefulness, annoyance, lethargy, Häagen-Dazs, and uncertainty. Whether or not you believe in or plan to make resolutions, it’s a time when we find ourselves reflecting on the past and planning for the future. This last Ask Anna of the year is going to be a little different in that it seeks to give life advice for a variety of different situations.

If you love making New Year’s resolutions…

We all know the abysmal failure rate of New Year’s resolutions. So let’s not call them that. Let’s call them goals. How do you set achievable and realistic goals for the year? Here’s some help from experts:

• Out of sight, out of mind really does work. If your kitchen has cookies on the counter, you will eat far more of them. The same is true for fruits and vegetables though. You’ll eat more healthfully if it’s convenient. Set yourself up for success.
• Set very specific goals: e.g. “I’ll workout at 9am with Jason. We’ll go for a run in the neighborhood” VS “I’ll exercise tomorrow”
• Practice WOOP:
  • Wish (think about the thing you want)
  • Outcome (think/fantasize about how great it would be if you achieved this goal)
  • Obstacle (think about what obstacles might come up to thwart you)
  • Plan (think about how you’ll overcome those obstacles if they do come up)

If you hate making New Year’s resolutions…

Then, don’t. Instead, ask yourself “What sustained me this year?” and commit to doing more of that. On the flip side, ask yourself what made you miserable and, if you can, do less of that.

If you’re a parent or caregiver…

Struggling with responsibilities and maintaining the balance between work, home, and the demands of caregiving can be overwhelming. Cut yourself some slack. You’re doing just fine.  The key is to take everything day by day, and also, to find time for your own health and well being. Remember, you can’t pour from an empty cup.

If you’re coping with grief and loss…

For those who have experienced a loss, the transition into a new year can be particularly challenging. Acknowledge and embrace these feelings—and know it’s okay not to be okay, as author Megan Devine put it in her excellent book (which you should read). Lean on your support networks, then lean harder (I promise you’re not annoying them), engage in self-care practices that resonate with you, and commemorate your loved ones in ways that feel authentic to you and your relationship with them.

If you’re going through a major life transition…

As the paradoxical truism goes, change is the only constant. Embrace the uncertainty of change as much as you can, even if it’s painful and terrifying. Great things never come from staying in your comfort zone. Remember also that your transition is not a setback; it’s a bridge to the future you’re meant to create.

As Mark Twain once said, “Why not go out on a limb? That’s where the fruit is.”

If you’re upset about the state of the world…

The world is full of horrors and atrocities and the world is full of goodness and kindness and help. How do you not fall into a pit of despair? As Cheryl Strayed said, “Real change happens on the level of the gesture. It’s one person, doing one thing differently than they did before.” To change the world, start with one small, impactful action within your own life and community and work from there—give your time, give your money, support initiatives, or educate others. Your positive contributions can create ripples of change, even if you don’t see the immediate effects.

If you love self-reflection (and/or you’re looking for a NYE activity that doesn’t involve a hangover)…

Ask yourself (or answer with a friend or loved one):

What lessons did I learn in the past year, and how can I apply them in the new year?

What activities or habits positively impacted my mental, emotional, and physical well-being? How can I prioritize them?

Am I living in alignment with my values, and if not, what can I do to better align my actions with these values?

What relationships enriched my life, and how can I strengthen and nurture them?

What limiting beliefs have held me back, and how can I challenge and change them in the new year?

How do I define success and failure, and can I reframe these definitions so they’re within my control?

In what ways can I practice gratitude and cultivate a growth mindset?

Where do I tend to seek happiness, and is it working? Should I shift my perspective to find joy in different places?

What acts of kindness, big or small, can I incorporate into my daily life to positively impact others?

What actions can I take to work toward a better work-life balance and nourish my mind, body, and soul?

What personal, professional, and/or wellness goals do I want to pursue, and how can I create actionable steps to achieve them?

What new activities, hobbies, or experiences do I want to explore to broaden my horizons and foster personal growth?

May your pizza boxes effortlessly fit in your fridge, may your M&Ms never get stuck in vending machines, and may this upcoming year be more fulfilling than the last—and if it isn’t, be thankful it’s not 2020, at least.

Anna Pulley is a syndicated Tribune Content Agency columnist answering reader questions about love, sex and dating. Send your questions via email (anonymity guaranteed) to redeyedating@gmail.com, sign up for her infrequent (yet amazing) newsletter, or check out her books!

This column originally appeared on The Chicago Tribune.