I’ve (33F) been with my partner (32 non-binary) for almost 2 years. In the last year or so, it’s been hard for us to have sex regularly, because I prefer sex in the morning and they like it at night. Afternoon sex is great, but we both work during the day, so that’s not the easiest to accomplish. Any help is appreciated.––Really Into Sex Early

Dear RISE,

I’ve encountered this issue in the past as well. And while no “perfect” solution exists––it’s unlikely that your partner will magically begin to like morning sex or vice versa––a series of imperfect compromises are at your disposal. They involve:

Switching off. This involves each of you “taking one for the team” and getting it on when you’re groggy, and then switching to nights/mornings for the benefit of the other person. This way, you’re both getting laid, and don’t have to feel like one of you is “sacrificing” every time for the sake of the other.

Early evening sex. Since afternoon sex is a struggle with your work schedules, try boning in the early evenings, like 30-45 minutes after the work day is done. It’s a nice way to unwind, connect, and then indulge in blissful burrito delivery for your post-sex munchie high. 

Lazy sex option. Lastly, and this can be done in conjunction with switching off, you might try the “lazy sex” approach on mornings/nights when one of you is tired/not feeling it. This involves being the more inactive/passive partner and/or keeping sex to a minimum, time-wise and energy-wise. So, no epic marathons involving multiple positions or stamina. This is not time to perfect the Anxious Manatee! I’m talking side-by-side handies while lying down, mutual masturbation seshes, getting an assist from a toy or vibrator, and so on.

Good luck, RISE. May time be on your side. Or your back. With multiple pillows. 

I’ve been sleeping with a FWB for almost 2 months, and everytime we have sex, he spends 95% of the time on my breasts, and ignores every other part of my body. I’m glad he appreciates my boobs, but I’m getting very little out of this. I wanna tell him but I don’t know how?––Too Into Tits Specifically 

Dear TITS,

He’s not a friend with benefits if you’re getting no benefits! The next time he texts “u up?” tell him what you need to make this FWB actually work. Practice now so that when you’re in your next longer-term relationship, it’ll be easier to speak up for what you want. You can even say some version of what you said here. “I love that you’re so into my boobs, but I need you to pay more attention to my other erogenous zones if we’re gonna keep fucking.” Then tell him a few things that help get you off.

If he doesn’t listen or reacts poorly, then he’s not a good FWB and needs to be canned.

I’m a 29-year-old male and have recently started identifying as heteroflexible. I’m mostly interested in women, but can get into seeing/sleeping with guys from time to time. I was on a third date with a girl I met through Tinder, and I thought things were going great. Then I told her I was bi and she basically couldn’t leave my house fast enough. I was shocked that she’d react so strongly and nothing I said could convince her to stay. What can I do now?––Boy Interrupted 

Dear BI,

Thank your lucky stars that she showed you her true colors early on, so you don’t have to put up with any more of her small-mindedness.

That’s the high road answer, but it doesn’t make it suck less. Most bisexuals experience a lot of judgment, fear, and stereotyping in dating contexts, in spite of the fact that the bisexuals make up the largest segment of the LGBTQIA+ community––by far. 

Some bisexuals out themselves in their dating profiles to try to prevent situations like what happened to you. But others like to have the conversation in person, after a few dates, where they have more control and can answer any questions that come up. (I fell into the latter camp, but I know it can be harder for bi guys who primarily date women.)

In any case, if you haven’t already, you might want to find/join some online communities for bi guys. It won’t stop the stereotyping, but a little camaraderie from those who know can help lessen the sting.

Anna Pulley is a syndicated Tribune Content Agency columnist answering reader questions about love, sex and dating. Send your questions via email (anonymity guaranteed) to redeyedating@gmail.com, sign up for her infrequent (yet amazing) newsletter, or check out her books!