These are some of the haiku I read at the Lit Crawl Muni Haiku Battle, which was super fun, even though (spoiler) I lost! You can read about it at Muni Diaries or watch a video recap below. Some of these won’t make much sense if you don’t live in San Francisco or ride public transit, but most of them will!

#288

My policy hasn’t

 

changed. You could always

 

enter through my “back door.”

_________

#289

Rush hour is like

 

kinky sex — nobody gets

 

off without a fight.

_________

#290

On the N, my seat

 

was stolen by an Asian

 

lady’s live chicken.

_________

#291

I took a deep breath

 

on the 38 Geary

 

at night — lesson learned.

_________

#292

Packed with tourists, Full 

 

House sing-alongs, pigeon jokes.

 

What the F, Train.

_________

#293

To our right, you’ll

 

notice human excrement.

 

That concludes our tour.

_________

#294

A two-hour ride

 

and I’m still not there — Mission bus

 

or one-night stand?

_________

#295

Kind sir, there’s a

 

difference between friendliness

 

and frotter-nizing.

_________

#296

Girl on phone baptizes

 

me with spit — if you see

 

something, spray something.

_________

#297

If you like your work

 

commute to be full of

 

surprises, urine luck.

_________

 #298

Dear ladies: Gripping

 

the bus pole that hard doesn’t

 

get you any tips.

_________

#299

Remembering exact

 

change is a chore. Clipper?

 

I barely know her!

PS: I’ve always wanted my face to be next to a definition of a paraphilia.