I recently finished Yale’s excellent Science of Well-Being course, taught by Dr. Laurie Santos, and offered for free through Coursera.

And I’m happy (heh) to report that my well-being has much improved in the two-ish months since I started. When I completed the initial intake survey, my happiness was around a 5.88 (on a 1 to 10 scale), and when I finished the course, it was 8.8.

That’s three whole data points! 

I highly recommend the course. It’s accessible (basic even, #noshade. Basic is great for busy folks) and highly actionable—because, of course, you can know everything there is to know about how to be happier but if you don’t actually apply that knowledge, then it’s not going to help you.

If you’re curious what’s in the class, here’s a basic (see!?) summary of the course’s main ideas/takeaways. With probably too many links to the science (studies/papers/books) from the course backing the ideas up.

First things first, what doesn’t make us happy

• having a high paying job 
• having a lot of money (once you hit $75,000, your happiness plateaus). Plus, no matter how much we make, we always want more
• technological and societal advancements (we are no happier on average today than 40 years ago)
• cars, material possessions
• true love (married people are happier than singles for 1-2 years, then that happiness returns to baseline, and in some cases becomes worse!)
• perfect body (achieving our looks goals actually reduces our well-being)
• perfect grades (aka external validation)

Why don’t these things make us happy?

In part because of a function of our brains called hedonic adaptation, which is basically that we get used to things pretty quickly.

So money, cars, and shedding 10 pounds can make us a little bit happier temporarily, but then we adapt to them and either start comparing ourselves to others again and/or move onto the next thing we think will make us happier (but usually won’t)

Other takeaways

• 40% of our happiness is under our control (that is, not determined by genetics or life circumstances). Read Sonya Lyubomirsky’s excellent book on the topic—It covers a lot of similar stuff to the course.
• We often grossly overestimate how much we think something will make us happy (and make us sad). Humans are incredibly resilient and can adapt to pretty much anything—whether positive or negative.
• Our minds don’t think in absolutes—we judge ourselves and our circumstances relative to other reference points, even if doing so makes us unhappy (e.g. “everyone on social media seems to be doing so much better than me”) or if it’s wildly unrealistic (“I’ll never be as successful as Beyonce.”)

Things that ACTUALLY make us happier (plus how to thwart hedonic adaptation)

Savoring

• Don’t buy stuff, invest in experiences
• Savor enjoyable moments; whether it’s a hot shower or a really excellent donut, take a few seconds to really enjoy it. It also helps if someone else is there with you. (Happier experiences are made more so when with friends)
  • Other savoring tools: use negative visualization, aka think about how you would feel if you didn’t have this awesome donut/hot water/friend?

Gratitude

• Recalling the good things in our life increases our well-being
• For a super happiness boost that lasts for months, do a gratitude letter
  • Other ways to boost gratitude: think as if today was your last day (we enjoy things more if we think they’re ending)
  • Interrupt your joy (take a short break from whatever fun thing you’re experiencing, aka a TV show or a delicious treat; when you come back to it later, your joy will increase so much (commercial breaks have been shown to actually increase our enjoyment of shows)

Kindness

• Similar to gratitude, counting kindnesses (bestowed to you by others or bestowed by you towards others) makes you happier
• Practicing 5 random acts of kindnesses (such as buying a stranger coffee, giving $5 to a cause you care about, putting change in a parking meter about to expire, doing the dishes for your tired spouse) once per week make us much happier
• Money can buy happiness if you spend it on the right things aka on others rather than yourself (paper | book)Digging this? Upgrade to paid

Social Connection

• Having stronger social ties makes you not only happier but healthier
• Talking to strangers makes us happier—this one truly shocked me. I hate talking to strangers
• Practice time affluence (valuing your free time over money + it helps you be more social)

Flow

• Doing activities that involve some skill puts us in a state of flow and make us feel better, more purposeful (Book by Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi) 
• Features of flow include:
  • Challenging but attainable goals (one organizational psychologist played hours of MarioKart to get into a flow state). Watching Netflix, by comparison, doesn’t help flow because it’s not challenging and doesn’t involve any skill
  • Requires concentration
  • Intrinsically rewarding (no trophies or social media hearts)
  • Timelessness (time seems to fly by)

Meditation (and mind control)

• Wandering mind makes us feel bad about ourselves—and our minds wander 50% of the time!
• Meditation helps reduce wandering mind and makes us happier
• Practice a growth mindset (i.e., life isn’t fixed, and most things can be improved with dedication and effort) vs a fixed mindset (my circumstances will not change and will never get better)
• Focus on learning, not outcomes and you’ll be happier even if you “fail” to achieve your goal because you’ve learned something from it

Exercise

• This (along with sleep) is a magic happiness pill. It’s more effective than Zoloft
• The positive effects of exercise on brain function and cognition
• Aim for 30 minutes a day. Does not have to be intense or strenuous, just get your body moving

Sleep

• The other magic happiness pill – super important to get enough sleep
• Aim to get 7 hours of sleep each night. If you don’t, you run the risk of worsening your health, mental health, cognition, and mood, even if you’re doing everything else right 

Auxiliary happiness interventions

Use your signature strengths

• Having a good job doesn’t make us happy but using our signature strengths (such as appreciating beauty, honesty, humor, love, etc.) at work does. (Take the VIA institute quiz to find out what your signature strengths are. Requires an email but is otherwise free.)

How to set better goals

• Out of sight, out of mind really does work. If your kitchen has cookies on the counter, you will eat far more of them. The same is true for fruits and vegetables though. You’ll eat more healthfully if it’s convenient. Set yourself up for success.
• Set very specific goals: e.g. “I’ll work out at 9am with Jason. We’ll go for a run in the neighborhood” VS “I’ll exercise tomorrow”
• Practice WOOP
  • Wish (think about the thing you want)
  • Outcome (think/fantasize about how great it would be if I achieved this goal)
  • Obstacle (think about what obstacles might come up)
  • Plan (think about how I’ll overcome those obstacles if they do come up)

The course goes into far more detail about each of the happiness interventions, as they’re called, and how to get started implementing them into your life, so check it out, if you’re so inclined.