U’re a little advanced for me 6


I have this wall of letters in my childhood bedroom. Some of them are written by me, but most are from other people. I started collecting them when I was in sixth grade until I finished high school. Whenever I come home, I read a few of them.  These are mostly from my freshman year boyfriend Brandon, who I dated for two months, which was a really long time in high school. I will leave the spelling and punctuation as is.

“Hey chica!!

hows the weather over there. is it cozy over there cuz it’s cozy over here 2 desks away. so, got any games comin up. we should get together this weekend cuz we havent really done much together lately I had a talk with my parents and they said they dont hate u. they just think u’re a little advanced for me. dont ask me y. its cuz you had a boyf or sumptin and also cuz my mom knows u go bra shopping at victorias secret. dont even ask me howshe knows that. anyways, thats the scoop on that subject…”

“Anna

Wuz up! Not much here. So you dont like my spelling well I don’t like it I suck at spelling. N-E-ways How life, mines pretty <– look I spelled it right) shitty because I feel like shit. Sorry I couldnt take you to Baskin Robins Maybe some other time Steven wants to do something this weekend so I’ll give you a call if your not bissy that is. Stinky Steve is all right same old stinky Steve the pot head. I think your letters are funny, at least there not dull like my letter’s your probly getting bored right now and checking my spelling. So anything happen yesterday that I mist. No. Answer me damit J/K Well got to go late

Love Brandon Aka Mailman Aka Brando burger

W/B/S”

“Anna

What up Babe! Not much here. Sorry for takeing your babe but I thought that was the best word to to use. Unless I can say what up Love! that sound’s pritty good to. Well N-E-Way’s how’s it going pritty good here. Still hyper. I dont know why. Sorry for not writing you sooner. Also this later for being so short I got to go latter’s

Love Brandon Aka Mailman”

This is from my friend Alex. I sought her counsel about how to break up with Brandon. She replied:

“Helloo!

So how’s your little lover boy? (J.K. Geez! You don’t have to get your panties in a knot.) Well, I have this little idea.

You should get him all solo, right, and talk to him a little while and then ask him what he thinks about your relationship. He’s probably going to say “What do you mean?” Now, you’re totally clueless right? WRONG. You can say…Um. Well, (I’m running into a brick wall and it has your name on it.) No, I’m kidding. You can say…Well I really like you and everything but I really don’t think our relationship should go any further. I made a mistake for leading you on…There everything’s settled…Give him a kiss on the cheek and slowly say “See you at lunch.” (Smile) and walk away.

O.K. I would like to say about Brandon. He’s a QT. Are you sure you don’t want to go out with him?

<3 Alex (The love doctor?)”

Lastly, I present to you, possibly my first intervention. From my best friend Lyndsey, who was trying to save me from myself. She even typed this out and everything.

To my dearest Anna,
On this Tuesday night, I write to you from the deepest love of my heart. Although, it may not always seem this way. The hard truth about your situation is that there isn’t much you can do. People see you for who they think you are and sometimes that’s, well, a “snob”. I’m not saying this to cut you down or discourage you, but that’s the truth. That may not be who you are on the isnide, but my advice to you is to be more open aobut who you “really are” and prove to everyone that you’re a great person and an even better friend. All your close friends know this and love you, but the rest of the school doesn’t, and until you tell them different, that’s what they’ll always think of you. Like I said before, word gets around, and whtether or not you know a person that person might know you. A lot of people, including myself and you sometimes too, go by what you hear. We both of had our share of rumors and falsities so can you blame them personally? I don’t think you can and that’s why I don’t when people look at me a certain way or snicker as I walk by. If I don’t know them then they’re not worth knowing. Prove everybody wrong Anna, prove all them bitches that you are awesome and that they should be running to your side. How you do this, it is not my decision or place to say. You are who you are and I am not the same in my personal ways of gaining friends.

I, unlike you, are loud, open and very talkative to anyone who’s willing to listen. You are not like that and whether that’s good or bad that’s just the way it is. I definitely don’t think it’s a bad thing, just different.

That short story idea is a good one, but I don’t recommend any drastic measures, such as making a packet and giving one to everyone at school. There is such a thing as trying too hard and people will recognize that, and you will come off as desperate, which you’re not. The other thing is that may come off as nervy, and I don’t say that to be mean, but that’s what I’d think if some stranger did that to me. The newspaper on the other hand would be more subtle and more recognizable as talent, not desperation. As you know, I am far from being a psychic and I could be wrong, but everything that I have said has come from the view of the rest of our school, not your best friend, which I hope I still am after this letter! Well, I’ve told you everything I can to comfort and help you, and if you don’t like it, that’s my opinion, so don’t take it too hard.

Love you Lots!!!!!

Love Always,

Paradice”


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6 thoughts on “U’re a little advanced for me

  • Lauren

    ohhhh high school.
    Anna, you shopped for bras at Victoria’s Secret? you advanced slut.

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  • Theresa Geary

    Oh no, blame the bra shopping on me, your MOM! What is wrong with pretty and comfortable unerwear? They have tons of customers of all ages. I guess they are all sluts!!!
    Interesting to read Lyndsey’s assessment of your personality and and high school demeanor. Once again, I see so many of the same presonality characteristics in myself. Both, me AND my mother were accused of being a snob, so it is apparently a generational thing. I see it as more like “reserved” , “humble”, “intelligent” and someone who is confident in who they are are and not trying to please the world, much less the h.s. crowd.
    I think you and Lyndsey both came out to be awesome young women, happy and successful, with lots of “real” friends.
    Your Mom.

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  • Anna Bonick

    As another high schooler who was sometimes thought a snob (by those who didn’t know me), this ate me up inside, as I was the farthest thing from it. When you’re more secure with yourself than the average teen and observant with your peers, somehow that translation occurs. N-E-ways, I don’t know how you and Brandon didn’t make it…

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  • anna Post author

    You’re sweet as pie, Anna Bonick. How could anyone mistake you for snobby?

    Maybe I should give Brandon a call 🙂

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