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This is a vignette from my newsletter   I recently cried on a treadmill listening to the Dixie Chicks’ “Goodbye Earl.” I’d never considered the lesbian subtext of that song before — Maryanne and Wanda end up living together on a farm and selling artisanal jam after they kill Wanda’s […]

If I could love you a thousand more years


This is a vignette from my newsletter.   “I want to feel the wild charge of your bare skin against mine,” you said. It was late at night and I had been driving for hours through Maryland Virginia North Carolina. We passed a billboard that said, “It’s not a choice, it’s […]

The wild charge


This is a vignette from my newsletter.   It was late again. (Isn’t it always?) For the last hour you had been seducing me with tales of Hawaiian sea goddesses and their revenges. You told me to take my clothes off and light a candle. You told me to fill […]

My first language is you



anna pulley
Nothing makes you feel more productive than seeing all the work you’ve produced in a year in one place, which I did in 2016 on this blog. And am doing again RIGHT NOW. If you make things, write things, draw things, etc., I highly recommend tracking what you’ve done in […]

All of my writing in 2017


advice queer women youth young lgbt
This week I got a question at my Redeye advice column from a 17 year old, who had recently come out. “Please warm me of the complexities,” she said. I did. You can read that here. But while I was at it, I put the question on social media, since, […]

23 Takes on How to Be Queer: Advice for Young ...


books sex change your life relationships mating in captivity
I picked up Esther Perel’s Mating in Captivity after watching her poignant TED talk about how to sustain desire in long-term relationships. (If you want a Cliff’s Notes version of the book, watch the talk below). Perel is a psychotherapist with more than 20 years of experience with couples, particularly […]

10 things I learned about sex, desire, and relationships from ...