Category Archive for 'feature'

Boy, Am Mysore

In May of 2008, I wrote in my journal that my goal for the year was to go to India with Ellie. It took me a few extra years, but here I am in Mysore. The circumstances, of course, turned out to be wildly different, but that’s India too. Have no expectations and you’ll be [...]

I have the best friends

This is in response to who’s coming to my last-minute going away party before leaving for India. LULZ.

#267 She flatters me. “Just reading your words makes me come.” But not stay, I think. _____________ #268 Only a fool would call this looting “love.” Only I would believe you.  _____________ #269 There’s always another story. I am almost someone moving on. _____________ Related: Haiku for Adulthood: Tempting shadows Haiku for Adulthood: Word secret [...]

Ear today, gone tomorrow

This is what I read at the December Monthly Rumpus. The theme was “A Night of Truth and Lies.” I think maybe it’s better performed than read, but waaaahtever. ____ I lie a lot. It’s almost always by accident though. I lie because I’m pretty deaf. Not profoundly so, but enough that it affects my [...]

Welcome to installation two of Book Clubbed. If you missed installation one and/or don’t know what the hell I’m talking about, go here and enjoy Ammie’s review of Bastard Out of Carolina.  To continue our theme of books that devastate, I present to you a review on Joan Didion‘s The Year of Magical Thinking. Brilliantly/eerily, [...]

Lesbian sex is shallow!

So. Back in 2003, I was trying to convince my soon-to-be-girlfriend that I didn’t like girls. This is an email I sent her, in which I detail just why I find lesbianism so reprehensible. Apparently, I’d already hooked up with three women at this point. Needless to say, I find this hysterical now. Also, for [...]

I love books. On my OkCupid profile, I say that books are my dominatrix. Nothing inspires me more, influences my writing, speaks to my soul, verbs my cliche noun, etc.  And yet, I never seem to write about books. I’m trying to be better about that. I wrote one review for SF Weekly last week. [...]

#252 I wasn’t born to follow rivers. I mistake clarity for ease. ______ #253 Sometimes we ate dinner in the Super Kmart. Each time was a “treat.” ______ #254 She said, “You are the girl I’m kind of in love with.” Kill ‘em with kind ofs. ______ #255 I cried over a Titanic preview, and took [...]

#247 Someday I’ll meet a girl good enough to take home to my vibrator. __________ #248 If you’re a girl who’s vagitarian, all dating is masturdating. __________ #249 Lesbianism in 8 words: ”I can’t date you, but here’s a poem.” __________ #250 At the lez sex party, the biggest bed held two women JUST spooning. __________ [...]

I met Amanda Palmer last night, kind of, in a flurry that lasted about seven seconds. Amanda and her husband Neil Gaiman were on a short West Coast tour, performing a mash up of songs and readings, sometimes alone, sometimes together, sometimes alone but with the other adoringly watching. To put it less clearly, here’s [...]