My friend Jami bought me a Groupon gift to Trapeze Arts in Oakland — I’m still not entirely sure why. Did I express not having enough outlets in which to kill myself on a day-to-day basis? Truth be told, ever since I got hit by a car, I’ve been afraid of just about everything that moved faster than the Earth’s rotation, which is why it took me six months to use the Groupon in the first place. But! I did yesterday. And it was amazing.
I took Ellie since she still, for some reason, agrees to do pretty much everything I ask her to do, even if it involves public insemination or signing liability waivers. This is the same gal who once screamed at me for spinning our cart too fast on the tea cup ride at Wisconsin Dells. She’s also deathly afraid of heights. (Sidenote: I don’t know why I have so few friends). Anyway, she ended up having a great time, totally conquering her fears, and lived to write about her experience.
Lately, I’ve been feeling really glum, that I will never be anything but mediocre no matter how hard I try, how much I write, how often I do yoga, etc. I consider myself a positive person generally, so these insecurities don’t often last long, but I felt another spell coming on right before our trip to Trapeze Arts. This did not do wonders for my willingness to strap on a rib-girdle and fling myself 50-feet through the air, if you can imagine. Along with my nagging insecurities, however, I also (and I don’t know if this is a strength or a flaw) respond really well to people who command me to do things.
Buy me a drink.
Edit this story.
Let go of the swing.
OkayOkayOkay. I don’t know if I’m a pushover or if sometimes I just need an extra push, but in an hour and a half, I went from total novice to catching someone’s arms midair. The trainer said I was a natural, and it was exactly what I needed to kick my malaise in the balls. So, huzzah for that. Watch a short video of my trapeze debut below. But I’ll also leave you with a quote from Buddha:
The whole secret of existence is to have no fear. Never fear what will become of you, depend on no one. Only the moment you reject all help are you freed.