unemployment



7
I never know what to say to people who ask me what kind of music I like. I can't tell the truth without then giving a speech about how pseudo-goth pop is really quite moving if you can just think of all the corpse references as "metaphors for life." I also can't lie about it because I'm a terrible liar. During jury duty last year, I accidentally said I was married and then tried to roll with it until they asked me what my husband's name was and I said "Eleanor."

Obsession


6
I've been unemployed technically since September, though I can't really count the month I spent traveling through Greece as time spent trying to find a job, so let's say November - making it about 3 months since I last received a paycheck. Personally and professionally, I've always been the kind of person to put all their eggs in one basket. I've never had a plan b because I didn't have to (insert lesbian joke here).

Plan B, the employment kind



2
I wrote a freelance article on wedding fitness recently, which is almost more embarrassing than the fact that they (AOL) rejected it. “Contributing factors may include that it was passively written, or not well-researched.” Such tips might be helpful if the sentences themselves WEREN’T WRITTEN IN A PASSIVE VOICE. According […]

Rejected


Searching for a reading chair on Craigslist has become something of a part-time job for me. Instead of monetary compensation, I am rewarded anew each day with posts like this: Finally, someone else shares the dream of being able to read AND shoot things from the same location! But what […]

The right to bear arms – chair edition


3
I applied to be a “funny horoscope writer” today, which required a sample horoscope for a Leo, which is funny because one of the first songs I ever wrote was called “horrorscope” and it was about being madly in love with a Leo. It had the words, “If you asked […]

Off the charts – a made-up astrological reading for Leos