Ed. Note: These haiku aren’t ALL about me. Sometimes they are just sentiments I enjoy, events/situations I find amusing, or shit I think will impress people. In other words, stop worrying that I’m Atilla the Slut with a drinking problem and no wherewithal to feed and clothe myself, Mom! Now […]

Haiku for Adulthood #52-#56

Being on Twitter all day for work makes it hard to finish any _________ Related: Haiku for Adulthood #3 Haiku for Adulthood #2 Haiku for Adulthood A brief poem about Pamela Anderson

Haiku for Adulthood #4

I learned a very valuable lesson today. It’s not all roses and free lube on Twitter, folks. Sure, sometimes you get marriage proposals, but other times you get SCORN. Other times, you will be following someone on Twitter and they’ll say, “Hey, does anyone have this really expensive software that […]

Every (Twitter) Rose Has its SCORN

I never know what to say to people who ask me what kind of music I like. I can't tell the truth without then giving a speech about how pseudo-goth pop is really quite moving if you can just think of all the corpse references as "metaphors for life." I also can't lie about it because I'm a terrible liar. During jury duty last year, I accidentally said I was married and then tried to roll with it until they asked me what my husband's name was and I said "Eleanor."


About a month ago, my friend Alicia Eler organized a Twitter conversation about lesbian movies for a website called Bad at Sports. Several other bloggers and I tweeted using the hashtag #lezflix for over an hour, but, when Alicia tried to retrieve them a few weeks later, the tweets had […]

Lost: A Twitter conundrum

I got this idea from Glamour, the UK version, which is exactly like the American version except it’s not “seduce a hot guy in ten minutes or less” it’s “shag a hot bloke in ten kilometers or less, all while driving on the left side of the road” and I […]

Sex Stories: my sexual history in 100 words