Twilight


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It was bound to happen. Someone on Etsy created a freakishly armed, giraffe-necked pillow, excuse me, manllow, in the form of Twilight’s Edward Cullen. Why was it bound to happen? Because you can’t spoon a poster, my friends. The artist does seem to have a sense of humor about her […]

Edward Cullen: Half man, half pillow


The internets are all a-twitter about Robert Pattinson’s quote in Details Magazine in reference to his hatred for lady bits. And I quote, “I really hate vaginas. I’m allergic to vagina.” During his photo shoot, R Pattz was forced to be around several scantily-clad women for twelve hours. What a […]

R Pattz hates your lady bits


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My BFF made a survey, like she does, of her life in 2009. It made me want to do a survey too, except it seemed like a lot of work, so I thought I’d do mine in pictures instead. 1. What did you do in 2009 that you’d never done […]

Life Survey



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The Frisky has a pretty good list of 11 Girl on Girl Misconceptions, including the oft-aggravating “it’s just a phase” line and the fact that no one quite knows how scissoring got picked up as a lezzie sex move in porn. Though I could’ve done without all the “Puhleases!”and “Roars!” […]

Misconceptions About Lesbians


As in Edward James Olmos, duh. Would you rather boff: a mopey, castrated sparklevamp with only two facial expressions, pain and agony, OR a tough inner-city school teacher who helps his students pass AP Calculus and then goes on to encourage Jennifer Lopez to achieve her dreams as a Tejano […]

Team Edward


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The plot of Twilight: New Moon, as told by LOLcats Smile like you’re dead inside Boing Boing’s Charitable Gift Giving Guide Plush alligators with vaginas Things I actually DID write/invent this week for Lunch.com, who did not hire me, but did compliment me on my “enthusiasm,” which is just as […]

Things I wish I had written/invented



This Thanksgiving has been full of revelations. I learned that I can and will enthusiastically peel a pomegranate for two straight hours. I learned that as long as technology keeps evolving, people will also keep devising ways to have sex with it. I also learned that movie rental stores are […]

Taylor Lautner’s abs and other revelations