porn


A while back, I did a haiku series for The Toast called “If Lesbian Porn Were Accurate.” Such as: Naughty Lesbian Babysitter Has Surprise for Dad When He Returns Home She let the kids stay up until 11 watching Harry Potter. * Hot MILFs Engage in a Steamy Clam Photo […]

If Lesbian Porn Were Accurate


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My pal Caitlin Myer was in New Orleans recently and she brought me back an Onion-style newspaper called No Levees that parodied my Alternet article on the 10 Kinkiest Cities in the US. Amazeballs. You should read the whole thing because it’s hilarious, but here’s an excerpt: New Orleans Mayor […]

This makes me really happy


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I remembered the haiku I forgot Monday! It was about porn. _________ Then I thought, do folks really care ’bout my porn star hip flexor envy? _________ THEN I thought, well shit, Now I have three porn haiku, which is awesomer! _________ Take that, porn stars. Related: How to talk […]

Haiku for Adulthood #22



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Finally, nudity AND puns. I don’t know who I feel more sorry for, the chicken or the model who probably had to lick him/her hundreds of times before this photographic gold was captured. This is from the 2010 Pirelli Calendar (whatever that is)

what the what?


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The Frisky has a pretty good list of 11 Girl on Girl Misconceptions, including the oft-aggravating “it’s just a phase” line and the fact that no one quite knows how scissoring got picked up as a lezzie sex move in porn. Though I could’ve done without all the “Puhleases!”and “Roars!” […]

Misconceptions About Lesbians


This Thanksgiving has been full of revelations. I learned that I can and will enthusiastically peel a pomegranate for two straight hours. I learned that as long as technology keeps evolving, people will also keep devising ways to have sex with it. I also learned that movie rental stores are […]

Taylor Lautner’s abs and other revelations