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Why do some online dating messages get replies and others fall flat? Partly it has to do with how well you present yourself in your profile, but there is actually a science to sending messages that get better reply rates. Read on to learn the do’s and don’ts of sending a […]

What to say in a first OkCupid message

In case you missed it, here’s a video of me reading terrible OkCupid messages at the Hazel 3 reading series and playing with my hair too much. Want more? Follow It’s Not Ok, OkCupid on Tumblr. Big ups to Evan Karp of Quiet Lightning fame for being a kickass videographer […]

VIDEO: It’s Not Ok, OkCupid

Flickr/ rosecrawford1
#223 Faith is knowing I’ve already lost you, and loving you anyway. _________ #224 It’s true–I crave your scapegoats. Such sting makes the present feel effortless. _________ #225 Some days, it seems the only appreciation comes from men in cars. _________ #226 Dear hot girls on OkCupid: You still have […]

Haiku for Adulthood: Here we go again

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I’ve been getting a lot of spam lately on the blog, which means I’ve made it as a blogger, probably. The comments are always inane and riddled with non-English spambot typos, but their “names” are often really amusing. For instance, High Waist Shorts wanted me to know, “You really inspired […]

High Waist Shorts Is Inspired

I feel like most of these could also be subtitles to a book that desperately needs to be written. #176 ‘Cause it’s easier to lie on the internet than to someone’s face. _____________ #177 You were so much more interesting when you were two-dimensional. _____________ #178 “Living life to the […]

Haiku for Adulthood: Online Dating

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I got this message today from Alice, an OkCupid employee who I am curiously 100% compatible with (that’s never happened before. Also, you’d think sexual orientation would factor into their matching algorithms.) Anyway, here’s what Alice had to tell me: Effective today, we are giving you a month of our […]

Why I’ll Never Be An A-List OkCupid User

Bay Area Rockers! Come watch me read embarrassing OkCupid messages in a flat, yet bewildered tone next Thursday, March 10th at Fivepoints Arthouse. Guest appearances by the ran-stone cowgirl dude, polyamorous-bear-my-children-and-do-my-data-entry dude, “check me out with the cops” dude, and many, many more. Short description: Celebrate heartbreak and hook-ups with […]

March 10th: Get Some Tale

#141 I want to hold you like parentheses, for once nothing between us. ________ #142 Skype sex? Can’t you masturbate to my Facebook photos like usual? ________ #143 First time for everything: rejected by a spirit animal? (p.s. Tumbl with me!) ________

Haiku for Adulthood: (<3)

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I’m way behind in posting shit I wrote that’s not in blog-form, perhaps because I’ve been too consumed by lighting myself on fire on the internet. Alas (but not a lack), here’s what you missed at SF Weekly: Can Twitter Land You In Court? Can You See Who’s Viewing Your […]


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This is the third time someone on OkCupid has asked me how I got my job. I mean, really? How does anyone get a job. You either know someone or blow someone, amiright brah?

I don’t know why I’m single

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From the MySpace Vault, with new additions added for posterity: These are all first messages sent to me from random folks on OkCupid. I post them (mostly) without comment. I don’t post them to be callous, but to provide an anthropological glimpse of what women deal with on these kinds […]


Joys of being single edition aka I get by with a little help from my friends. Subject: “Wanna fuck?” Followed by a “JK!” Your meaning eludes me. _________ “Y’know she’s married, right?” “Would I be attracted to her if she wasn’t?” _________ For Jami You and I go together like […]

Haiku for Adulthood #47-#51