lesbian


I wrote this on a whim months ago and didn’t think much of it—I thought it was cheesy and obvious! And then recently I posted it on Instagram/Twitter and many people said it was their new favorite haiku. It’s also been retweeted hundreds of times, even by Dan Savage! So, […]

Are Lesbians Actually Zombies: A Graduate Thesis in Haiku


A month ago, New York magazine published my essay about being awkward at sex parties. It was very well-received and I was asked to do a few podcasts to talk about lesbian orgies and social awkwardness and sometimes haikus. I also received many “OMG me too!” messages, which was oddly comforting, […]

A wallflower at the orgy


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While floating around ideas for the back cover of The Lesbian Sex Haiku Book (with Cats!), my editor challenged me to write a haiku description of the book. So obviously that’s what I’m doing instead of, like, trying to make money to survive. I can do that tomorrow. How often […]

Help me describe my haiku book in haiku?



A while back, I did a haiku series for The Toast called “If Lesbian Porn Were Accurate.” Such as: Naughty Lesbian Babysitter Has Surprise for Dad When He Returns Home She let the kids stay up until 11 watching Harry Potter. * Hot MILFs Engage in a Steamy Clam Photo […]

If Lesbian Porn Were Accurate



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#279 Of course I read Cunt. Painting with my menstrual blood was transformative! _________ #280 Girl,  I would love to help you move that modular couch from IKEA. _________ #281 Cold? Here take my micro-fleece vest. I only wear it ironically. _________ #282 Have you reconciled your identity with race and class privilege? _________ #283 […]

Haiku for Adulthood: Lesbian Pick-up Lines