anna pulley

So. Back in 2003, I was trying to convince my soon-to-be-girlfriend that I didn’t like girls. This is an email I sent her, in which I detail just why I find lesbianism so reprehensible. Apparently, I’d already hooked up with three women at this point. Needless to say, I find this hysterical now. Also, for [...]

#247 Someday I’ll meet a girl good enough to take home to my vibrator. __________ #248 If you’re a girl who’s vagitarian, all dating is masturdating. __________ #249 Lesbianism in 8 words: ”I can’t date you, but here’s a poem.” __________ #250 At the lez sex party, the biggest bed held two women JUST spooning. __________ [...]

I’m really going to confuse people with that title. Sorry, porn searchers. Watch me tell the harrowing tale of my first strap-on sex experience at Bawdy Storytelling’s Girl-On-Girl night. Related: VIDEO: Portuguese Artist Colony Reading Easy Trapezey How to make your vlog not suck, and other videos Okay fine, I’ve broken up with people via [...]

Related: Haiku for Adulthood: Quickies Haiku for Adulthood: How Lesbian Sex Works Haiku for Adulthood: Lesbian Sex, Part II Haiku for Adulthood: Online Dating

#205 I’m used to the women I date being straight, but never straightforward. ____________ #206 I’ll never forget our first meeting. You spoke to my very soul: Hoooooooooooooonk! ____________ #207 It’s redundant to say you’re gay and that you majored in Theater Tech. ____________ Plus, at AlterNet I tried to figure out why I’ve had so many [...]

#188 Trimmed nails are a MUST. Trimmed everything else is always a surprise. _____________ #189 It’s like straight sex, but you aren’t labeled “slut” for fucking on the first date. _____________ #190 “Bisexual” means you get more threesome offers than actual dates. _____________ #191 When lesbians say “All night long,” they don’t mean 45-minutes. _____________ [...]

#181 Picture foreplay that lasts longer than a few minutes. Now, add crying. _____________ #182 Scissoring is only a “move” in porno movies. Or “Rock, paper…” _____________ #183 Strap-on sex is fun, until you realize you don’t know when to stop. _____________ #184 Why you should be proud to have small hands: sewing, picking your [...]

#172 You fucked me so hard I swore you were looking for my virginity. _________ #173 Every time I think I’m over you, Facebook puts you in Top News. _________ #174 (Missed Connection) Couldn’t hear most of what you said, but your British accent said “Soul Mate.” _________ #175 I’d be a better lesbian if [...]

I used to get ads for diet pills and raging gay lady parties in places like southern Florida, but now THIS. Way to diminish my queer cred, Facebook. Or is this just par for the course for any girl around the age of 30? Let us also take a moment to note the hilarity of [...]

We had met before, of course, but we didn’t really know each other until she fell off a three-story building. This was in London, the first time I was away from my parents, my obligations. That she survived at all is a testament to her stubbornness. She was wasted; we all were. It was the [...]