fear


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Not too long ago, a woman named Joanne decided her most sincere wish was to be a writer. But each time she started to write her first book, it seemed like forces were conspiring against her. First her mother died when she was 25. Then she found herself in an abusive marriage. […]

10 ways to hate yourself a little less


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My friend Jami bought me a Groupon gift to Trapeze Arts in Oakland — I’m still not entirely sure why. Did I express not having enough outlets in which to kill myself on a day-to-day basis? Truth be told, ever since I got hit by a car, I’ve been afraid […]

Easy Trapezey


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I save everything you write. So you can’t delete me from your life. _________ Words of wisdom from my yoga teacher: Y’know, threesomes are SO eighties. _________ Related: Haiku for Adulthood #2 How to talk to naked people Written on the Body In and out

Haiku for Adulthood #81 and #82



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The great philosopher Lao Tzu said, “Every journey begins with a single step.” And so my journey of getting back on a bike, after being hit by a car two years ago, began with a single pedal in Davis, California. About seven pedals later, however, I was on the ground, […]

Falling like a rockstar


Ellie rocks the back bend. Photo by Anna Bonick 6
...today, I fell on my head. It didn't hurt a lot, in the grand scheme of pain, but the sound--that dull, cartoonish thonk--evoked a very clear body-memory of when I got hit by a car. The body never fails to remember pain, even though we sometimes manage to banish it for a while, deep in the folds of our subconscious minds.

Head Games


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A short list of what has happened in the last month or so: Our apartment was broken into (actually all the apartments in our building were broken into). Stolen items include my Macbook (sob), 2 iPods, 2 digital cameras, 1 SLR camera, a hard drive (with all the seasons of […]

Existential childhood malaise syndrome