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I was on the KFOG Morning Show yesterday, and like all things that require me to think on my feet, I’m not very satisfied with my answers. I mean, it was totally fun and fine, but now I find myself running over the questions I was asked and revising them […]

The Evolution of Mourning

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Seal, he of Batman song and Heidi Klum baby daddy fame, never includes lyrics to his songs in the liner notes. (Sidenote: liner notes! How quaint. Who buys CDs anymore?) ┬áHe wants listeners to always wonder and speculate. I thought for a long time that was lazy, and frankly, a […]

Hear, hear?

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I don’t know why this exists, but I love it. The best part is that the smallest one is saying “GOAT.” Who said Union Square was square? Also found this today on my walk to the bus. Posting it mostly to freak my parents out. Just kidding, ‘rents! SF is […]

Notable for its ability to bestride!

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Poster from the Portuguese Artist Colony reading last Sunday! Someone recorded it, I’m told, so be on the lookout for that soon. There will also be a video of me from the Bawdy Storytelling event telling the story of my first strap-on sex experience (hint: it was disastrous). What you’ve […]

Solipsistic gerbils, and other nonsequiturs

I recently celebrated my year anniversary giving advice to lady lovin’ ladies at After Ellen. I can’t believe it’s been a year already, and that it’s been almost four years since I’ve been an advice columnist, starting way back at Centerstage Chicago, where my first column addressed the very pressing […]

Happy Anniversary To Me

I am so unmotivated today, I couldn’t even post a Facebook status update about how unmotivated I am. Also, last night I went to a public insemination ritual / performance art show / orgy and I’m probably the only one in the world who thought bringing their ex to that […]

Insemination rituals and such

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I’ve been getting a lot of spam lately on the blog, which means I’ve made it as a blogger, probably. The comments are always inane and riddled with non-English spambot typos, but their “names” are often really amusing. For instance, High Waist Shorts wanted me to know, “You really inspired […]

High Waist Shorts Is Inspired

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This orgy post just keeps on giving. Here’s a snippet from an email I got from someone who read it, after he told me about his adopted Korean grandchildren: So, having a small, Green pad, doing your 16 hours in medical research/week, performing your role at the community theater tonight, […]

It’s Evolution, Baby!

So, I need to write a bonafide post about this, but for now, here’s an abbreviated story. I’m pretty deaf. It affects me every day, in some ways more profoundly than others. Usually it’s something I can laugh off, as in the case of mishearing song lyrics or when I’m […]

Deaf Sentence

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So apparently I have an inbox at AfterEllen that has had messages in it since last May that I was totally unaware of! Most of them were relationship questions, but one was a supernice letter from a woman I gave advice to in December. I wanted to share it with […]

Warm Fuzzies

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I’m way behind in posting shit I wrote that’s not in blog-form, perhaps because I’ve been too consumed by lighting myself on fire on the internet. Alas (but not a lack), here’s what you missed at SF Weekly: Can Twitter Land You In Court? Can You See Who’s Viewing Your […]


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This Thursday, December 9, I’m going to be reading something at Adobe Books in San Francisco. But I don’t know what! Haiku? Essay? Dramatic reading of OkCupid emails? What should I read?! Your input is much appreciated. I haven’t read in public in a long time, like 5 years. So, […]

Halp! What should I read?