advice


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I’ve been freelancing for about a decade. It started as a side gig to make my full-time job seem more bearable. I told myself that if I could get paid to write essays about dating a girl who wanted to be Harry Potter, then sitting in a cubicle 40 hours a week […]

Freelance Like a Boss: 6 Tips for Emerging Writers


A while back, a guy wrote in to my advice column, wondering how often anal sex led to pregnancy. My answer ended with a limerick: I once met a dude on the ‘net, who wrote to me very upset. When you ride the caboose and some sperm is knocked loose, a […]

Dating and sex advice in limerick form


alice dana l word
As an advice columnist, the most common question I get from queer women is some variation of this: “She did [some small gesture that could possibly be construed as flirtation]! Does that mean she likes me?” Examples of small, ambiguous gestures have included: Sharing a dessert with the same fork […]

Top 3 dating mistakes lesbians make



So glad to see my efforts to mainstream frozen vaginas are finally being recognized! Actually, I have no idea how googling “cold cunt” would lead someone to this blog. Maybe it was something about Robert Pattinson. In other news, here’s what you’ve missed if you’ve been trapped in a time […]

How Did You Get this Number?



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I’ve given a lot of advice in my writing life — from anal sex pregnancy rates to how not to be a douche on Twitter — but I’ve written very little about writing itself. I’ve started freelancing again recently, and that change has also prompted requests and interesting discussions about […]

Freelancing Tips for Lazy People