Solidifying the fact that pseudo celebrities’ “15 minutes of fame” will now last forever, (fuck you, Myspace!) Ashley Alexandra Dupre, the escort who took down former Gov. Elliot Spitzer, has an advice column! Welcome to REAL whoring, Ms. Dupre.
The description of Ms. Dupre’s column is as follows:
AD’VICE’: Smart and sexy Ashley Dupre learned from scandal — and she’ll be your escort through the world of relationships as a Post columnist.
How do we know she’s smart AND sexy? Duh, she’s wearing glasses.
Not one to dismiss an ad-“vice” column littered with puns, I read her answers, which, to be honest, aren’t as terrible as they could have been, but they’re still pretty bad. Highlights:
Are there telltale signs a man isn’t happy in his marriage? — J. Marshall, 37, East Village
Guys are primal. They’re proud and need to be treated like they’re proud and special.
Girlfriends do that for the most part. But I think that wives with children have so much pressure on them, the natural thing is for the kids to take priority. The husband feels secondary and in one form or another may seek out that required special attention outside the marriage.
My boyfriend wants to know how many men I’ve slept with. Do I give an honest answer? –Anonymous, NYC
You don’t give him an answer at all. It’s really none of his business (and vice versa).
The real question I have is this: would YOU seek advice from Ms. Dupre? I personally think Tila Tequila would have more interesting responses. Maybe she’d even include some of her poetry, like this:
Thunderfuck my mouth is shut. Been a while, feel like a cunt.
Can’t wait for this drama to pass.
Oh the joy…..fuck you. My ass.
Live a lie.
Tell my mind.
Over soon. I can’t deny.
You will all soon see, the truth in my eyes.
Smile on my face, the loving embrace….but instead I’ll punch you in the face.
For a long time coming….I let you touch me….now that it’s over bitch….You better start running.
Pent up inside….telling these lies….this has gone too far…..the world will soon die.
Only 1 more day. To feel this way. Tomorrow I smile….brings another day!
Back to myself. Nobody else. Fuck all this bullshit. I’m back to myself. Yes. Thank the fuck God.
I thank the fuck God each day that you’re still around, Ms. Tequila. Ms. Dupre however, not so much.