So, I know it’s been 80,000 years since I’ve written here. But I have a really good excuse. I was making you mugs. Hand-crafted, one pixel at a time, on the Internet.
You’ll recognize the words from Haiku for Adulthood #110. But this is even better because you can enjoy it at the SAME TIME you’re enjoying a beverage. The future is magical!
Seriously, it’s 2013, folks. Now is the time to finally stop drinking out of measuring cups.
In other news, I was interviewed on LateNight Bubbles with Bernadette, a variety show about artists and performers in San Francisco. Everyone else was wearing an amazing spandex contraption or had 8-foot hair, or their nipples were on fire, so I asked my friend Jacques La Femme to tie me up so I didn’t seem so J. Crew 20% off sale. Then I got carried on stage by two beautiful gay boys.
There’s a whole series of clips on YouTube that I am too lazy to embed! But feel free, mom and dad.
One of the many topics we discussed was this essay I wrote for Salon, “Dominatrix for a Day” which is about what I always write about … exploiting my life experiences for money.
And this “10 Fun Facts About Lesbians” post continues to be wildly popular, and resulted in perhaps the most satisfying work email to date: “[Your lez post] is beating 5 Signs Tom Cruise Is Gay.” I’m adding that to my resume.
What else? Here, I wrote you this poem*:
Kisses are great,
and so are hugs,
but if you buy
a mug, I’ll get 2 whole dollars!
*I never said it was good
What’s new with you? What are your goals for the year? What are you reading? What are you writing? I want to know.