I filled in for Alexis Coe’s column, Read Local, this month. The vagina compliment comes from a girl I flew across the country to have a first date with. I did that kind of thing a lot in my mid-twenties. I was always in love with a girl who lived nowhere near me. It was a phenomenal first date — we hiked Runyon Canyon and I read her palm and we danced to the Spanish version of “Achy Breaky Heart.” Toward the end, when we were rolling around on the floor, my head somehow hit her stereo and turned it on and it took us a long time to realize that we were making out to “Carol of the Bells.” Wouldn’t you fly across the country for that?
I also can’t get the “Achy Breaky Heart” song out of my head. Can you believe that Miley Cyrus’s dad wrote that? I don’t know why that weirds me out.