Haiku for Adulthood: Masturdating


Someday I’ll meet a

girl good enough to take home

to my vibrator.



If you’re a girl who’s

vagitarian, all dating

is masturdating.




in 8 words: “I can’t date you,

but here’s a poem.”



At the lez sex

party, the biggest bed held two

women JUST spooning.



(Actual thing that was said to me by a friend yesterday)

I’d only be fisted

by a girl, preferably

with carnie hands.


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