Haiku for Adulthood: Lit Crawl Muni Battle (Video)


These are some of the haiku I read at the Lit Crawl Muni Haiku Battle, which was super fun, even though (spoiler) I lost! You can read about it at Muni Diaries or watch a video recap below. Some of these won’t make much sense if you don’t live in San Francisco or ride public transit, but most of them will!


My policy hasn’t

changed. You could always

enter through my “back door.”



Rush hour is like

kinky sex — nobody gets

off without a fight.



On the N, my seat

was stolen by an Asian

lady’s live chicken.



I took a deep breath

on the 38 Geary

at night — lesson learned.



Packed with tourists, Full 

House sing-alongs, pigeon jokes.

What the F, Train.



To our right, you’ll

notice human excrement.

That concludes our tour.



A two-hour ride

and I’m still not there — Mission bus

or one-night stand?



Kind sir, there’s a

difference between friendliness

and frotter-nizing.



Girl on phone baptizes

me with spit — if you see

something, spray something.



If you like your work

commute to be full of

surprises, urine luck.



Dear ladies: Gripping

the bus pole that hard doesn’t

get you any tips.



Remembering exact

change is a chore. Clipper?

I barely know her!

PS: I’ve always wanted my face to be next to a definition of a paraphilia.

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