Haiku for Adulthood #85 – #91 3


Achievement of the Month:

New high score in Doodle Jump!

I hate myself.

(It was by like 30,000 points though! That’s really high. For me.)

_________

You kept the note I

wrote you. It just said “Bam!”

Me Tarzan. You impressed?

_________

What I want inscribed

on my tombstone when I die:

“Help! Buried Alive!”

_________

Yes, I just referred

to the rapper as “Little Wayne”

What? I’m half white.

_________

Jay-Z, you amply-blinged

Mr. Potato Head

genius! I love you.

_________

“Yes, that’s it, right there,

baby.” Wait, why am I sexting

using two hands?

_________

The mixtape you sent

had Nina and “Beat the pussy up”

Marry me?

_________

Back that sass up:


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