anna pulley

We had met before, of course, but we didn’t really know each other until she fell off a three-story building. This was in London, the first time I was away from my parents, my obligations. That she survived at all is a testament to her stubbornness. She was wasted; we all were. It was the [...]

He puts on a pair of shorts after you’ve made love, grabbing at the piles of clothes in the dark by his bed until he finds something suitable to cover his nakedness. That’s not what you call it, of course, making love. You call it what it is: an affair. Still, you resent him for [...]

Glamour Shots, 1994 – Back story HERE There’s no reason to post that picture of me as a twelve-year-old Texan prostitute here, I’ve just been listening to a lot of Katy Perry and the ridiculousness of that I felt should match this blog post. Shit that happened this week: At After Ellen, I gave a [...]

You found my blog by searching “haiku for drunk sluts” – Christ, that delights me. ____________ Dear anonymous Googler, Please reveal yourself! And marry me. Love, Anna Other shit that happened this week: Over at SF Weekly, I wrote about when to stop texting and use your phone as a phone. For instance: Call: When [...]

I’m stealing the title from Jami because it still makes me laugh. Short version of the story: She was drunk texting a dude and he asked if she was having a good time dancing and buying me lapdances from a 64-year-old stripper named Porsche who kept showing me her “peach cobbler” and saying, “Now promise [...]

Last week, I wrote these limericks about being a frustrated bisexual, one of which included a story from my past where I behaved like a douche canoe. And I WAS FORGIVEN. In the comments. Check that shit out. Limericks bring people together! In my lesbian column, I compared friendship to the run-off of a chalupa. [...]

I started a social media etiquette column for SF Weekly that launched Thursday. I still manage to come off as slutty, even though I’m writing about sexism on Digg. Go me. I guess that’s my shtick though, so I should embrace my role as a “social media mistress.” Curiously enough, or rather not at all, [...]

This is fiction, but just barely. I wrote it 8 years ago when I was trying to figure out how to reconcile being multiracial but looking white and having all that white privilege crap to deal with. To quote myself, “I wanted nothing else but to belong to something, to have some sense of culture [...]

Do haiku impress straight girls on OkCupid? One way to find out… ________ Related: Haikus for Adulthood #11-18 Haikus for Adulthood #10 Like a ran-stone cowgirl Love or referrals appreciated

I learned a very valuable lesson today. It’s not all roses and free lube on Twitter, folks. Sure, sometimes you get marriage proposals, but other times you get SCORN. Other times, you will be following someone on Twitter and they’ll say, “Hey, does anyone have this really expensive software that I need for my design [...]