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Haiku for Adulthood: Sex in my early 20s
Thank god that era is over.
Also, 300 haiku y’all!
Related:
Haiku for Adulthood: Lit Crawl Muni Battle (Video)
Ilcha/Flickr
These are some of the haiku I read at the Lit Crawl Muni Haiku Battle, which was super fun, even though (spoiler) I lost! You can read about it at Muni Diaries or watch a video recap below. Some of these won’t make much sense if you don’t live in San Francisco or ride public transit, but most of them will!
#288
My policy hasn’t
changed. You could always
enter through my “back door.”
_________
#289
Rush hour is like
kinky sex — nobody gets
off without a fight.
_________
#290
On the N, my seat
was stolen by an Asian
lady’s live chicken.
_________
#291
I took a deep breath
on the 38 Geary
at night — lesson learned.
_________
#292
Packed with tourists, Full
House sing-alongs, pigeon jokes.
What the F, Train.
_________
#293
To our right, you’ll
notice human excrement.
That concludes our tour.
_________
#294
A two-hour ride
and I’m still not there — Mission bus
or one-night stand?
_________
#295
Kind sir, there’s a
difference between friendliness
and frotter-nizing.
_________
#296
Girl on phone baptizes
me with spit — if you see
something, spray something.
_________
#297
If you like your work
commute to be full of
surprises, urine luck.
_________
#298
Dear ladies: Gripping
the bus pole that hard doesn’t
get you any tips.
_________
#299
Remembering exact
change is a chore. Clipper?
I barely know her!
PS: I’ve always wanted my face to be next to a definition of a paraphilia.
Related:
- Haiku for Adulthood: Lesbian Pick-up Lines
- Haiku for Adulthood: Gaying Up Cee Lo
- Panchakarma Part 1: Are you shitting me?
- Haiku for Adulthood: Masturdating
Haiku for Adulthood: Back to Reality…TV
This is a guest haiku by Devon O’Dell O’Gara.
For those who’ve never had the uh pleasure of watching Jackass, here’s a trailer for the movie.
Related:
- Haiku for Adulthood: Blush Whine
- Haiku for Adulthood: Self-flagellation edition
- Literal heartache
- Haiku for Adulthood: Word secret impossibilities
Haiku for Adulthood: Lesbian Pick-up Lines
#279
Of course I read Cunt.
Painting with my menstrual blood
was transformative!
_________
#280
Girl, I would love to
help you move that modular
couch from IKEA.
_________
#281
Cold? Here take my
micro-fleece vest. I only wear
it ironically.
_________
#282
Have you reconciled
your identity with race
and class privilege?
_________
#283
Don’t label me –
I’m a non-het-identified
poly pagan witch.
_________
#284
I know it’s 2012
but I’m not done griping
about The L Word.
_________
#285
Heteronormative
intersectionality
assimilation.
_________
Related:
- Haiku for Adulthood: Quickies
- Haiku for Adulthood: Gaying Up Cee Lo
- Haiku for Adulthood: How Lesbian Sex Works
- Lesbian sex is shallow!
Haiku for Adulthood: What’s a haiku?
I know this is a little bitter, but I’m tired of getting comments about how I’m one syllable off or whatever.
Here’s my soap box, for what I hope is the last time: Japanese haiku isn’t based on syllables. It’s based on onji, which are units of sound that don’t correlate with Western languages.
The Haiku Society of America (which is a thing that exists!) gives a pretty loose definition here:
The definition of haiku has been made more difficult by the fact that many uninformed persons have considered it to be a “form” like a sonnet or triolet (17 syllables divided 5, 7, and 5). That it is not simply a “form” is amply demonstrated by the fact that the Japanese differentiate haiku from senryu──a type of verse (or poem) that has exactly the same “form” as haiku but differs in content from it. Actually, there is no rigid “form” for Japanese haiku. Seventeen Japanese onji (sound-symbols) is the norm, but some 5% of “classical” haiku depart from it, and so do a still greater percentage of “modern” Japanese haiku. To the Japanese and to American haiku poets, it is the content and not the form alone that makes a haiku.
Okay? Now can we all just fucking enjoy these silly haiku already?!
Thank you, MGMT
Related:
- STDs: The Musical!
- Haiku for Adulthood: Bitter, Sweet
- Haiku for Adulthood: I’m Not Bitter
- Warm Fuzzies
Haiku for Adulthood: Writer’s Block
#276
The most frustrating
kind of writer’s block comes from
being too happy.
Related:
- Haiku for Adulthood: My Moon, My Blank
- Haiku for Adulthood: Self-flagellation edition
- Haiku for Adulthood: On Not Settling
- Haiku for Adulthood: Tempting shadows
Haiku for Adulthood: Blush Whine
#270
My love is half bird
and half law. It’s up and up
and up, then over.
_________
#271
This crush, relentless.
I am like a cat and she’s
a laser pointer.
_________
#272
Your heart is a street
that has no sign, but still I
found you. I found you.
_________
#273
In therapy, I
talk to pillows about my
qualms with pillow talk.
(#Meta)
_________
#274
Give me your deserts.
Here, a girl can wade without
ruining her good shoes.
_________
#275
Reflexively, my
arm extends. An offering,
or to defend?
_________
Related:
- Haiku for Adulthood: My Moon, My Blank
- Haiku for Adulthood: Sentimental Hearts Club Band
- Haiku for the Moon #92-#100
- Haiku for Adulthood: Witchy Woman
Haiku for Adulthood: My Moon, My Blank
#267
She flatters me. “Just
reading your words makes me come.”
But not stay, I think.
_____________
#268
Only a fool would
call this looting “love.” Only
I would believe you.
_____________
#269
There’s always another
story. I am almost
someone moving on.
_____________
Related:
- Haiku for Adulthood: Tempting shadows
- Haiku for Adulthood: Word secret impossibilities
- Haiku for Adulthood: Prodigal Sun
- Haiku for the Moon #92-#100
D5 Creation