The Lesbian Sex Haiku Book (with Cats!)


“Smart, funny, tender, sexy, hilariously inventive, and oddly educational. This is a must-read for anyone who’s ever been there and done that.”

―Cheryl Strayed, New York Times’ best-selling author

The Lesbian Sex Haiku Book (with Cats) was an adorable and hilarious way to start the day! Check it out!!!!”

Tegan and Sara


Lesbian sex has been confounding people since the dawn of cucumbers. What is it that two women do together exactly? The Lesbian Sex Haiku Book (with Cats!) is a humorous guide to lesbian sex, dating rituals, and relationships. Haiku paired with hilarious watercolor illustrations of cats in various stages of sexual awkwardness will enlighten, demystify, remystify, and most importantly entertain as you learn about all the aspects involved in girl-on-girl action.

From lesbian pick-up lines:

Pronounce Annie Proulx’s
name correctly―watch lady’s
cargo pants fall off.

To icebreaker haiku for first dates:

It has been MANY 
years, but I’m not done griping 
about The L Word.

To, of course, the mechanics of lesbian sex:

It’s like straight sex but
afterwards we ask ourselves,
“We just had sex, right?”

Picture foreplay that
lasts more than a few minutes. 
Now, add some crying.

This laugh-out-loud book is the perfect gift to amuse and educate your friends, loved ones, and lovers.

Illustration: Kelsey Beyer



“Love, love, love, love. I laughed, cried, and felt connected to my coven.”

―Wendy MacNaughton, New York Times’ best-selling illustrator and graphic journalist

“Is that a wet spot?” ―My Mother


“It’s undeniable! The Lesbian Sex Haiku Book (with Cats!) is purrfect.”

―Lenny Letter, from Lena Dunham and Jenni Kronner


anna pulley

Anna was born and raised in Tucson, Arizona, spent four years in Chicago, and then headed back west to the Bay Area, where she currently resides. She was a hot dog slinger, shoe salesman, PE teacher, and a waitress at a retirement home before she figured out the best way to degrade herself was as a writer.

She’s been published in places such as Mother Jones, New York magazine, San Francisco magazine (“The Oakland Issue” won a National Magazine Award), BuzzFeed, AlterNet, Salon, The Daily Dot, and The Rumpus. When she’s not attempting to lead a haiku revival, she also writes advice columns for AfterEllen and Chicago’s RedEye paper.

kelsey beyer

Kelsey Beyer is an artist living in Oakland. She specializes in prints, drawings, illustrations, and figure modeling. Her work has been featured on Foulmouth Greeting Cards, in the National Queer Arts Festival, on The Toast, and in Gay Men Draw Vaginas. She has been moonlighting as the unofficial visual documentarian for the Bay Area’s favorite girl orgy since 2009. See more of her work at

Photo: John Orivs